Monday, October 02, 2006

The Chronicles Of Belly

If I can count..(which maybe I can't) THIS MY 100th POST!!! Woo Hoo!!

He is so weird you just have to laugh at him.
We were once again subjected to the tightness of his polo shirt. Even though he's short like a munchkin, He must have to buy his shirts in the Tall section to get them to fit over his stomach. I should ask him where he shops..just for shits and giggles.

He has no clue what he looks like. One day me and my OTHER cube-mates were talking about various bullshit and we got on the subject of bald guys. Belly is one of those bald guys that shaved his head to make it look like it was "his choice" to be bald..we see that shadow of your receding hairline, you're not fooling anyone!! Anyway, I digress. He had the nerve to say "Well at least I'm not one of those guys who's back of their head looks like a pack of hot dogs"...and as he walked away I witnessed a neck and head region that looked like ..yes A PACK OF FUCKING HOT DOGS!!! I should show him a mirror.

He's on some bullshit Low Carb diet (again) where he eats luncheon meat on fake tortilla wraps. The lunch meat comes in this little ziploc lidded container. He leans over the wall and says in his usual high pitched wheeze: "You want this container that my meat was in?" ewww, I wanted to say that I wanted NOTHING to do with anything his "meat" came close to but I politlely said "no".
Belly could've just sat his ass down, BUT NO!!..he had to ask me TWO MORE times and I finally had to tell his ass to throw the damn thing away!

He insisted on talking with his mouth full today, which in most people is tolerable but with him...yack..puke...his mouth makes this thick "mucus", smacking noise that I just can't stomach. I prayed that no one would strike up ANY type of conversation for his whole lunch period..The nausea has made me weak.

But before I go...I found ANOTHER somewhat hateful resemblence that makes me giggle:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....Imagine the belly about 4 times bigger..damn, I wish I had PhotoShop here.....Oh, I kill me, and if you knew him, this would kill you too.

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