Saturday, July 18, 2009

Ok Fine..My Last Post About IMVU..maybe

It seems that at least ONE of my readers and I'm sure about 80% of my co-workers are "sick and damn tired" of me talking about IMVU.


I've been hearing that "I've changed" since getting my avatar..that I've "come out of my shell" or that I'm "starting to blur the line between reality and the virtual world"

Umm, I disagree.

I've said this somewhere before: I've been a 'ho since the early 90's..I just happen to have a way to dress her up in cute lil virtual clothes now.

You know how YOU think that something is so much fun that you want others to experience it, But when you show them the coolness they give you the blank stare and you hear crickets?

Yeah, I'm getting that feeling right about now...

A few of my older co-workers are sure that IMVU is the Devil...and so's the "interwebs"..I just laugh at them on the inside while nodding and smiling on the outside.
There are some really good people out there behind these "Devil Avatars"..and I've made some good friends...who cares if I've never actually seen them in person and sometimes I only know them by their screen name..doesn't seem strange to

Hey ladies!! - You know that guy I'm married to??...The one you broads LOVE SO MUCH?? Yeah, well I met him on the INTERNET!!

GASP..WHEEZE!!* Oh clutch the pearls Lula Mae!!!

Ok..I'm sounding like a brat.. 'cuz deep down inside, I AM ONE..and a rebel too.

So I'll probably add maybe just one or two more IMVU posts..yeah..that.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Myrtle Beach SC Can Go Straight To Hell


It was our 2nd wedding anniversary on Tuesday..yeah, we were one of the millions who got caught up in the whole "7/7/07" thing...

Since we never really went on a honeymoon OR a 1st anniversary trip, so we figured we'd just find somewhere to his parent's house..cuz we're the jet-set type, you know.

So after a fun night at his parent's house (really, it was), we pointed the car towards Myrtle Beach and got was a pretty boring drive..lots of peach stands.

Our "Ponder This" car-question was:

How do we know that YOUR peaches are the best??...Is there a Zagat Survey for Trailer Trash fruit stands??

Yeah, that's how we entertain ourselves on road trips.

We kept seeing these obnoxious Welcome Centers so we decided to stop..oh lord why????
Well for ONE - they had free popcorn dammit! and for TWO..we didn't exactly have a hotel room for the night and they claimed to have discounts..we fuckin LOVE discounts.

One rep-girl-person claimed that all their hotels were booked so we turned our attention to the 50 foot "alligator" in this cheesy glass case...(yay for touristy shit!) then this other guy behind the counter starts feeding us this bullshit about a $10 a night room..{Insert blazing red flag here}
We had time to spare so we listened to his lil a 90 minute "preview" of our fabulous resort..blahh blah..get your money back for the room IN CASH...blah blah blah...right on the beach...bliggity blah.."city view" room (?)....

So we signed up, waited for him to "set up" our room on his girly white cell phone and drove another 45 minutes to the beach....

Myrtle Beach is like one big "parking lot" carnival...and everybody looks like a carnie..and not in a good way.

We pulled up to the hotel...and ONE HOUR LATER we got our room keys..pfft, bullshit.

For some reason I turned a blind eye and nose to:

The old, dark, dirty front lobby
The 6 million people crowded into it
That smell
The front desk person saying "You'll be in room 211"

because I was trying to be a good sport..and all romanticalish.

The nicest little bellhop dude helped us to our crack den room, (seems my husband the chatterbox had already found out his life story while I tried to check in).

I was pretty much traumatized from this point on so I'll summarize:

2 beds..twin beds..the smell of desperation and bad decisions..dirty windows..shitty bar area..brokenish elevator..filthy ass beach covered in trash and cigarette butts...OUR VIEW FROM THE ROOM:

If you look closely, you can see the faint outline of a crack pipe and (yay) nice!

Then if that wasn't enough, the nexy day, those timeshare fuckers tried to claim that since my husband didn't have his driver's license, they couldn't:

1. Show us their funky little stank ass timeshare condo

2. Refund our $80 after I flipped the fucking front desk over...they showed us the condo - there were TWO to choose from - Too Fucking Expensive and WAY Too Fucking Expensive..eeek!:

Look at this view, no crackpipes or panties!!

Oh! and those assholes gave us ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS hmm, that's what I thought.

Oh! and the name of this slum village?? West.gate Projects Resorts..ya think that lil dot will keep me from getting sued? Probaly not..fuck 'em.

Oh! and it rained like the days of Noah's Ark the entire way home...mmm, good times

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Please Gouge His Eyes Out...

Belly wants to "friend" me on Facebook......

*gag*...*dry heave*....*not so dry heave*

And the funniest part is his profile pic...fucking priceless...he is sitting at a desk showing ALL 437 OF HIS TEETH...I howled for 20 minutes over his ridiculous face..and those Man-Tittays need a D cup from Vickie's Secret IMMEEDJUTTLEE.

Do you think the FBI would take me seriously if I asked to be placed in the Witness Protection Program over this??

Hmm..I guess not.

OH!!..I forgot to tell you he had the nerve to come back into town the other week...I was wondering why the office floor was shaking....and here comes this pork sausage bounding down the aisle towards me with the Velveeta Super Cheese grin on his face.

I hope he didn't catch the panicked look on my face.

Thank God I was on my way out the door....but he still tried to stall by sidling up next to me and giving me his best Mack Daddy vibe voice - "So hey, how you been doooin?"

It took everything in me not to kick him in the nuts and take off running...but two of his brood were with him and those lil bitches looked tough.

From what the young kids tell me, if I ignore it, he won't know...but it leaves the door open for him to request me AGAIN...*sigh*
But then some other young kids say that if you just let it sit out there, the whole "Again" thing isn't possible..YAY

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Sexy Cabinets and Haawt AC..Yeah Right

Well I decided to post something here today..cuz I'm bored and I knew you were just DYING to find out what happened with the cabinets..oh, and the AC went out again...yeah, good times.







Yeah, look at that fuckin mess..even after he "cleaned up" there were still little pieces of RAZOR sharp metal all over foyer's "wood" floor..yay!

Oh, and did I mention that during this 6 hour install - he took at least 30 breaks?

One of his smoke breaks was RIGHT after I smelled NATURAL GAS in the hallway {Insert me bracing my body for the explosion} if I could actually survive because of such bracing. took my landlady THREE FUCKING DAYS to get this fixed IN 90 FUCKING DEGREE WEATHER..which of course made it feel like 60000 degrees in our house..double yay!
She was "price shopping" for the furnace/ac unit during this time..while we melted...I'm not happy.

Sad part is that the new unit is as quiet as a god damned jet relaxing...but it's freezing in here now..super fuckin triple dog dare yay!

So all is well..for now...knock on wood.