Thursday, July 31, 2008

We Needed To Have A Meeting About The Meeting

Corporate America needs to stop it.

First of all, this morning I had to get up an hour earlier than usual to go to a training class at our sister facility TWENTY MILES AWAY FROM MY HOUSE...IN HORRIBLE TRAFFIC...oh, and I had to bring "homework"...In order to stay awake for the long two hour class, I made the mistake of drinking waaay too much of my homemade coffee (because I have a tendency to fall asleep in conference/training rooms) and now my stomach is boiling..loose stool..mmm yummy.

When I got in the car to leave, I noticed that it was BELOW "E"...great...Since payday isn't until tomorrow, I floated a check at Publix to get some cash (because I am the picture of financial responsibility) and then had to pray all the way to the gas fucking kills me how little gas I can get for $20 these days.

Then if that wasn't enough, once I got back to the office I realized that we had a 1.5 hour "team meeting" to go to which meant I only had 20 minutes to eat my lunch.

As you can imagine, I wasn't exactly an "effective team member" for the rest of the day.

You can call me "Irritable Bitch" today - thankyouverymuch

And then we can have a meeting to discuss it.

Friday, July 25, 2008


My friend and co-worker called to say that her husband (who I call "Big Boy") collapsed at the gym last night and WENT INTO CARDIAC ARREST!!


This is a 35 year old guy who STILL plays football every weekend, has lost a good 50 pounds AND is in the best shape of his life...

And then I look at my and my husband's out of shape asses..this doesn't look good.

She said that after he regained consciousness in the hospital, he was laughing and joking and had the nerve to say that he wanted to go

It's sad that our men think that they are invincible and that "doctors are full of shit" (as my husband would say)..granted, a very small number of them have been full o' shit but at least I WENT IN to find that out...*grumble*

I finally got back in the gym earlier this week and walked 1.6 miles on the treadmill..nothing to write home about but it's a start..I guess...I was feeling all great until I stepped off the damn thing, got dizzy and almost fainted..

It's scary to think that my friend's husband said that he felt just like that last night.

I plan on going home tonight and hugging the hell out of my husband.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Weird Traditions

So I know we're about TEN DAYS late but...

We ate a piece of or wedding cake top the other

I was told that it was good luck or something so I did as I was told and wrapped it up real tight for freezing...but because we have the smallest freezer known to man, I tucked it away in my friend's deep freezer in her garage.

Cut to the weekend before 7/7/08 - I call my friend to tell her that we're coming by to pickup our frozen block of weirdness and she says: "oh..umm, we may have a problem"....huh?, what problem??
"Well, it MAY or MAY NOT taste like habaneros...uh, there was a African Stew spilling incident in the freezer recently"...oh..ok.

When we got it, the outside foil smelled a little funky but I gloved up (actually I just put plastic Zip-locs on my hands) and re-wrapped a 100 degree humidity..yay.

I let it defrost a little in the freezer for a while. The whole time, TOH is claiming that he will MAKE me taste it fist, "Just in case it's nasty"..great...thanks. But of course, In my mind I'm thinking that I'm going to make HIM taste it first....He claimed that he couldn't enjoy the first time around because he had "The Bubble Guts" all day at our wedding..nervous much??

It looked pretty good..I guess

It looked dry..but strangely, it wasn't...the frosting tasted fresh still..sort of.

and after 10 minutes of hemming and hawing from my husband..we got through it..It wasn't exactly bad per se..but it wasn't actually all that good either...

Then we came to our senses...

and decided that this would be the best place to "store" the rest of the cake...

Looks like somebody - who shall remain nameless - needs to take the damn trash out already..for shit's sake!!

But I do love him..really, I do.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Being A Whore As Usual

This week I have dubbed myself the "Store Whore" at my part time job.

I have yet another "work crush" on yet another "boy" at work..I'm such a skeezer.

There's this guy who works in the store room downstairs and I swear, the first time I saw him, I almost fainted..He's maybe 6'6" and probably weighs around 350 a good way..oh, and his skin is like smooth, dark chocolate...yum

He makes my lust worse by wearing really tight shirts like this:

And believe me when I say: He fills out every inch of it...and then some.

My best day was when he was asked to demonstrate some of the training equipment..oh yeah, that was nice...and there I was, being the cougar, so sad.

But then he opened his mouth to speak and it sounded like:

"duh duh duh duh"

What a turn off...good looking men should just shut up and look fine sometimes.

Don't worry, I informed my husband of my whoreishness and as usual, all he is worried about is if the man can "help out with some of the bills around here"....

Oh, Men.

Monday, July 07, 2008

And We're Stiiilll Together...

Yes people, it's been one whole year since I married that dude...and hey, we haven't killed each other yet..but tomorrow is another day.

We've actually been together since '98..damn that seems like forever ago...but this year seems to have flown by.

It hasn't been easy though - considering that two weeks ago, I wanted him to "get the hell out of my house" - but we've worked it all out..mostly..and I wouldn't trade him for any man (except maybe Brad Pit..or Derek Jeter..or The Rock..AHEM..anywayyyys).

I love the hell out of my husband..who else can I actually watch and laugh at Elmo on Sesame Street with or trade farts with that won't think I'm wacked??
Not bad for a guy that I met on the Internet huh?

We went to Whole Foods yesterday and spent 700 million dollars on two ORGANIC tomatoes, 15 pine nuts, a box of frozen mussels (which were actually very good), a rosemary/olive oil demi baguette and some fresh mozzarella...since when did we get so damn bourgie??

Oh, and I actually made pesto for the first time..and no one died. I figured I should do SOMETHING with that poor basil plant (that I've had to replace twice due to neglect).
So anyway, I made this appetizer thing that's made of sliced tomatoes sprinkled with salt, pepper and olive oil, schmeared with pesto and topped with the fresh mozzarella that can I just say, is the most dangerous thing to slice EVER?? and the digressing...
here's a pic that I found on the innurnets:

Except I put mine under the broiler....and it wasn't stacked so high..ha

Then we made mussels with a cream garlic white wine sauce..yum

And since we're greedy bastards, for dessert we had peach cobbler and ice cream..hell naw, I didn't make the cobbler...Mrs. Smith's does a wonderful job.

Tonight we plan on going to a nice Brazilian steakhouse downtown...with a 2 for 1 coupon..because we're just cheap like that and because we can't seem to keep our asses out of Whole Foods aka "The 700 million dollar grocery bill place".

Oh..this is SO my favorite song right now..the lyrics really hit home....

Mary J Blige - Be Without You

*Edited to add:

I can't believe I said I put mine under the BOILER..instead of embarrassing...I have since changed it because I am anal like that...