Friday, December 18, 2009

More Talk Of Bellies And Such

Wikipedia calls it a Panniculus...I call it....FRIEND

Remember my post about Belly's Sister's Belly?...well I'm still afraid of that big ole thang...and it still talks to me...but now it speaks in a French accent...Sacrebleu!!

I was walking back to my desk the other day and she was in a back hallway on her cell phone. She was leaning back against the window sill and I (unfortunately) happened to notice that her stomach had a CAMEL TOE!!!! ( I would link a heeelarious reference to that word but every thing related to it has been blocked where I work..fuckin party poopers).

*fainted, then died*

I find myself wondering if she wears her panties OVER it or UNDER it....I mean, I have a lil gut and I wear my panties over it..people tell me that I tend to over share...they're crazy.

Ok..I'm so damn mean...but sometimes I just can't help it.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Oh Stop Ya Blood-Clot Cryin Already....


Now that my ass is a little less sore from Thanksgiving...ok, that sounded weird...I am now takin the time to have a little pity party.

I hate everybody and everything.

It seems that my parents and lil sister have moved into my guest room. They have been here since just "sorta happened".

Long story short - They have a house about 30 miles from mine - 2.5 years ago they saw a rodent of some sort in there - they RAN from said house to Grandma's house - they visited their own house occasionaly while they "sorta" moved in with GMa - the roof sprung a leak - no one noticed for a while - mildew is half way up the wall in my lil sis's room..and spreading - her ceiling also fell in - GMa finally got sick of having house guests - Oh, and my parents don't have a lot of money AND they have a procrastination problem.

I offered to help them fix the situation but I can't get them to commit to anything.

Try to talk to my step dad the other night just about made me slit my throat. You see, he's a Narcoleptic that also has Sleep Apnea..yeah, good times.

I mean, shit, we could pull a truck up to the nearest gas station and pick up a few day laborers, some masks, a couple of crowbars, shovels and have the room gutted in like an hour!!

Drywall costs what? $12 a sheet? a roll of insulation? $20...tarp? $30???

Fuckin hell, it makes me angry that they let their house get to the state it's in.

I've decided to get an extremely small loan from the credit union to try and help out.

Shit sucks..we're poor and I'm tired....and I still have far too many people living in my condo that I am not married to.

Somebody pour me a drink....A BIG ONE

And get me a shotgun...cuz if I see ANYTHING remotely "rodent-ish" while I'm there??? That fucker will be dead as the day is long.