Monday, July 10, 2006

Took a MENTAL HEALTH day on Friday - Call Me Beer Wench

Me and the other half took the day off on Friday..slept most of the day with NO GUILT.
Finally got a license plate for the "new" car. What a relief. Now I need to get $50 dollars back from the dealership for their mistake since we had to go and spend another $25 on an emissions test...bastards

The other half had friends over on Saturday. They somehow mistook me for the "Beer Wench". Every time I walked past the balcony window, he would hold up 3 fingers...WTF?? Then one time I walked by (like a dumbass) He says: "Boo Boo, could you bring us a bowl of ice, the liquor, the Sprite and oh, could you heat up that leftover steak for us? (Dammit, that was my damn steak and I was soooo looking forward to eating it..shit)
Me: (thinking) Are your damn legs broken??? I'm SUPPOSED to be relaxing!
Me: (outloud) Sure, Boo Boo. Will that be all? [Insert fake smile here]

Damn, I love that man, he better be glad we were having such a good weekend.

I pretty much slept the whole weekend away. Went to Target and Wal-Mart and pillaged the clearance racks (There is NO NEED to pay retail), found some cute stuff in my size. Surprising since I guess these stores think that if you're plus sized, you must were shit ugly sweat pants and tops with BIG flowers on them.

I was part of a focus group for Wal-Mart one time (they paid $125.00!!) and I told them that going into their women's plus section was like driving by a horrible accident: You don't want to look over and see that dead body on the asphalt but you JUST CAN'T HELP YOURSELF, and you end up seeing something that ruins your week..Every time I go in Wal-Mart I see that very thing that changes my damn life for the worse.
Why does anyone need a bright pink Mu-Mu with huge pockets in the front by their thighs?? I guess these trailer queens needs a place for their ciggies and meth.

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