Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Being Mean Feels Good Sometimes

I had a little guilt wash over me today.

Belly loomed over my cube wall and asked to borrow my scissors to cut some crap. I call it crap since I'm sure it was something he used to be more of a nerd.
Anywhooo, I'm REALLY weird about people using my craft supplies to create stupid shit. For instance, cutting wire or thick plastic with my REALLY expensive scissors..WTF??? And they act all offended when I say no.

After giving his cutting subject the once over (and the fact that he wouldn't sit the fuck down) I gave him my scissors. He still wouldn't sit down and continued to make stupid little jokes like "unlike you, I can't cut a straight line" and [Insert stupid man-giggle here] " I think I failed crafts class".

I'm sure he expected me to laugh maniacally like he does at every damn thing but I just sat there WITH MY BACK TO HIM and continued to read blogs. I wanted to blog about his ass right away but HE WOULDN'T SIT DOWN!! He cut his little project out while looming over my trash can, mostly missing it and dropping shit on the floor.
I literally had to take a deep breath to keep from slapping the shit out of him and calling him names. It's like he stands there until I:
1. Look at him and acknowledge his foolish self OR
2. (fake)Laugh at his stupid jokes

As if using my good scissors wasn't enough, a few minutes later he asks for my damn Xacto knife...what???? Go away!!
After he asks he says "I'll stop bothering you now". Yeah right I'm thinking.
In the tradition of bothering me, he then offers me a damn rice krispy treat!!
He claims it was in return for "services rendered" but I really think he wanted me to eat it in front of him so he could get his rocks off - more food porn.
I mumbled "thanks" and threw it in my drawer.

He continued to stand there for a few more moments and then sat his ass down, I wish I had one of those bus mirrors that stick on your monitor, just so I could see what the hell he's doing back there.
I turned around yesterday and noticed that he stared right at my tits for a couple of seconds..ewwwwww, I should have slapped his nasty face.

A little later, I started to feel bad for being mean after I saw him skulk off to lunch. He usually eats his ass/onion/sewer smelling lunch in his cube, subjecting us to the stankness of it all, but today I saw him all lonely looking in the break-room.

I soon got over all this sappy-assness when he got back to his desk and the usual high pitched snot whistling commenced all in my damn ear....Shit, I need a vacation

1 comment:

shoobaba said...

Haha! I know EXACTLY what you're talking about! I don't have idiot co-workers yet, but my friends used to think I was mean for feeling exactly the same way you do about my classmates in high school. Man, there were some weird freaky people back then. Great post, mirrors my feelings completely!