I'm not sure how I forgot THIS little gem:
Walking to the park for the Jazz Festival, looking all sexy in my new t-shirt with the word DIVA in RHINESTONES across the front, rocking my new knockoff sunglasses. Some Queens saw my shirt from across the street and yelled "You go Miss Thang!!! Lookin' Good!!". I looked over at them with my big pretty smile and said "Aint I fine???!!", karma stuck her damn foot out and I tripped on the curb, flew tits first towards the sidewalk, completely fucking my knee up and (god forbid) scraped up my sunglasses AND my rhinestones...shit, shit, shit
The Queens gasped and "clutched the pearls".."OMIGOD Girl, are you alright??" they said. I played it off by saying I was drunk knowing damn well I was sober as the day was long.
And instead of running back to the car like I usually do (hell, I paid 3 million dollars to park already) I held my head up high and limped over to the Jazz festival.
Of course one of the eagle-eyed friends I was meeting there noticed blood through my sexy jeans and we went through another round of "OMIGOD Girl, are you alright??"
Me: Yes dammit, I'm fine!! in all senses of the word..
Me: (thinking) turn around and watch the damn saxophone dude!!
Those Bastards: Well that doesn't look good, you should get that looked at ..blah freakin blah
Well I went to the doctor the next day..what? it hurt!!
He said I BRUISED the bone!!! Can you imagine how hard you have to fall in order to bruise bone?? Well I can.