Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Belly's Foot And Other Foolishness

I'm still trying to figure out how Belly's fat ass manages to balance on a foot that is turned at a 90 degree angle. I guess his parents couldn't afford a foot brace for him when he was little...po' thang.

Thankfully the phones have been busy and he's been relatively quiet. He's such a martyr that he feels he must "save the world" and answer every damn call that comes in and stay on with each caller waaaay longer than needed. He also makes a mountain out a mole hill on most calls..for instance say you need a password reset, Belly will turn that into you needing a completely new workstation for no reason at all....stupid ass.

I really think he's the type of person that loves drama. He seems to "create" it in his household..remember the whole hidden camera debacle??

About 15 times a day, his 10 year old daughter calls his desk phone, each time, she's so excited to tell on the other kids that he has to say her name OVER AND OVER AND OVER (really loud, mind you), then tell her to calm down. Then he has to tell her to stop calling but he says it in SUCH a yella belly way that not even a 10 year old believes it and she keeps on calling.

If I EVER called my Mom at work and it wasn't because my brother was on fire and/or bleeding to death, she would have kicked my ass!!


He also feels the need to seem important to everyone. He actually admitted that he only married his wife as part of a "social experiment" because she looked needy..fucking weirdo, I think it was because she was mentally slow, light skinned and had big tits..but that's just my opinion.



Oh wait..lemme tell ya this part:



One day he was sitting over the wall blabbing all his damn business to me (this was in the early days when he was new to our department and I was trying to be nice).

He said that the reason he "gained a couple of pounds" was because when he first got married, he was SUCH a hot piece of ass (yeck..gag) that women were constantly hitting on him (yeah, whatever). He figured that good looking chicks wouldn't be SO attracted to him if he was a little chunky...

oops!! looks like you skated right past chunky and landed in lard-ass city.



He then said..out loud... to me..... that the caveat to this whole "test" was that fat girls started noticing him and that he was disgusted by it....I know....WTF??? He's dillusional. I can't imagine ANY woman being attracted to his goofy ass.

Speaking of Goofy..Here's what his teeth look like:



hahahahahahaha...woooo...hahahahahaha, I am so mean

4 comments:

Riotgrrlwargasm said...

Ugh! Are you kidding me? He is SO nasty--who is he kidding? Like anyone risks type 2 diabetes just to keep the ladies at bay...? AND as if (!) anyone is looking at him thinking, "who's that crook'leg hottie gimping my way?" WHAT-EV!

lioux said...

Linka72. You must get this book to keep on your desk.

When Belly hangs over your cube wall to start a conversation, you can simply just pick it up to display the title and start thumbing through it.

Linka72 said...

lioux, you should be a personal shopper!!!
I am SO getting this book!!!

Linka72 said...

Riotgrrlwargasm!!!
HA!!
I think I just peed a little...
Look.Belly is wanting to know what I'm laughing at...nanny nanny boo boo