This morning, Belly decided to treat us all with bagels from Panera Bread - He brought his "favorite ones" - The Cinnamon Crunch kind...granted, they are pretty damn good (Damn, 410 calories EACH) but he took it to a WHOLE 'NOTHER LEVEL:
As usual, he came bounding down the aisle (the floor literally shaking the whole time) but today he had this glazed look in his eyes and he was breathing all heavy (what's new?)
Belly: (all wispy sounding) They're HOT!!!
Me: ('cuz I'm a smartass) What? They're STOLEN??
Belly: No, I mean they're right out of the oven..I waited 10 minutes for them!!
He busts the container open and takes two bigunns out for himself (for starters). He sat at his desk and proceeded to sing sweet nothings into his bagel's ears..flippin' weirdo.
A couple of people started to line up to get their bagel and this jackass keeps saying:
"THEY'RE HOT ya know!!!" (insert wide-eyed, silly ass look here) "I WAITED for them!!!" (Insert long ass story about how there were only 4 in the case when he got there and he yelled across the bakery for more..blah blah blah - here)
He says this shit to everybody that comes to the table...they all just smiled uncomfortably and kept their heads down before rushing back to their desks.
After a while, people coming to the table just start to blurt out: "We know!! They're HOT!!
I just sat at my desk laughing..I swear I nearly pissed myself every time somebody walked up..and this jackass seriously had no clue what I was laughing at!!
He is SUCH an embarassment to our area....