This morning I was reading my email when I noticed a "noise" coming from above me. Yes, it was Belly, leaning over the cube wall..lips smacking...eating his yougurt/shit chip concoction..slurping...more nasty smacking..it was the nastiest noise I've heard in at least 2 weeks...(Shut Up Orhan)
I shot a shitty look out of the corner of my eye and he sat his fat ass down...my stomach is still churning from the noise.
Me and my co-worker witnessed a good 3 minutes of ass scratching from him today...he doesn't even really have an ass funny enough....my co-worker made me vomit a little by imagining how hairy and stinky he must be under the "fold" of his gut. She said it probably smells like potted meat...EWWWW
If he even attempts to touch anything I own, I'll stomp a mud hole in his ass.
Ten bucks says Belly cheats on his "diet" and ends up eating an ENTIRE turkey..bones and all. I wonder if 3 whole pies and 4 pans of dressing are permitted on the Fatkins Diet?
I just saw him in the break room...eating a BIG ASS bag of battered fries...now's he's gotten into the cookies...nice diet..I think I'll get on it too!!
We're trying to figure out how to tell him his breath smell like hot, raw sewage. One of my cube mates offered him a mint the other day and he refused, the co-worker insisted but Belly refused AGAIN..dumb ass can't take a hint.
So since I love a challenge, I offered him one just now..he refused it. He said: "Naw, I'm cool"...uh NO YOU'RE NOT!! I'm going to leave some mints in his drawer to see if he notices.
Me and The Other Half will be on vacation starting tomorrow and we'll be back on Monday..almost a week without Belly's irritating ass..I'm so damn happy, I might actually sing a song.
Hopefully there will be a computer around so that I can blog about my dysfunctional in-laws to be ..oh.what.fun.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody..Don't kill anyone while I'm gone!!!
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