Friday, June 16, 2006

Soccer Mom/Kept Woman Rant

Ok let me start by apologizing (sort of) to all of the Soccer Moms/Kept Women - whatever

I work in a a upper middle class/really rich neighborhood. Every morning I see these stupid cow women in there huge SUV's, Hybrids or Minivans driving around all slow and shit talking on their DAMN CELL PHONES (who the hell could you be talking to??). You heifers are in my way and I have a few rules for your sorry behinds.

1. Stay off of the road and out of the way of actual working people during these times: Morning rush hour, LUNCH TIME and evening rush hour. If you don't work,you shouldn't be on the roads.

2. GET OFF THE PHONE!! Are you talking to fellow home-makers, brain-storming a way to tie up more traffic?

3. Touching on point #1, get out of the Fast Food drive thru lanes during the times stated above. Also, I don't want you in restaurants OBVIOUSLY frequented by office workers at LUNCH time. You need to be at home cooking for your children or least get your nanny/au pair/chef to do it and stay your butt at home.

4. Take those damn tennis outfits off with your big fake bolt-on boobs and bottle blonde hair.
But I guess they're thinking "What better way to flaunt my wealth/slack assness, than to wear a tennis skirt and Dri-fit top in the middle of the day??"

5. DRIVE THE DAMN SPEED LIMIT at least. Touching on point #2, if you weren't on the phone or turned completely around tending to little Connor/Emma/Skyler at the light, you'd see that the light has changed and you're making me late for work!!

Whew what a release...Maybe I secretly want to be a soccer mom/kept woman

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