Food Porn

I SWEAR TO GOD, BELLY IS GONNA DIE!!

I think Belly wants to watch me eat so he can get off or something.
I tried to eat my lunch in Peace today - NO SUCH LUCK ..Belly attempted to strike up a convo at least 5 TIMES in my measly 45 minute lunch..the whole while leaning over my damn wall.

Cut to 3 hours of ignoring his dumb jokes and man-giggle later......

I'm sitting here minding my own damn business but all I get is fresh hell.
Another team had leftover food from a party and invited everybody over to finish it off..not one to be wasteful, I fixed a little plate of beans, potato salad and a BBQ sandwich. I was all ready to enjoy my 15 minute break alone IN PEACE when who comes bounding in from lunch..yes everyone, it was BELLY.
I didn't even have to turn around to know he was leaning over my damn wall because his SNOT WHISTLE was on FULL flippin' BLAST.
He actually stood there for a full 60 seconds before saying "that's a nice side plate ya got there" (insert weird man-giggle here)
I said "thanks" with a sort of question mark and waited for his ass to sit down and leave me alone...BUT NOOOOOOO!! He stood there another minute (seemed like a damned eternity) with his snot whistle then he finally sat down.

It was all I could do to not throw my plate at him. I stupidly felt like I had to eat all fast because I was worried he would stand up and jizz if he saw me chew a bean...WEIRDO!!!

MUST..KILL..HIM..NOW...somebody call the authorities!!!
OK sissies, I'm not really going to kill him, but I'll dream about it for sure.

But wait, I have to find a way to maim his ass before he leaves for vacation...

Just think, a whole week of:
eating in peace
not having to fake snicker at stupid obscure jokes/references/songs
real snickering at how big his gutness is
NO SNOT WHISTLE!!!

Wow, it's gonna be great..but who will I make fun of all week...must..think...

I was so pissed by the end of the day that I accidentally shut down this screen and had to come home and re-blog....Shite Shite Shite