Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Now You Can Add Racist To The List Of Things You Call Me Behind My Back

Working retail is bullshit...

So I'm at my part time job on Monday..actually having a good time dancing and singing like we usually do when it's not busy when in walks in the Asshole of the day (AOTD).

AOTD: I need to return these sneakers
Me: Yes sir, I'll need to see your driver's license and your receipt
AOTD: I ain't got those
Me: Um, well sir, I'll need those in order to do your return
AOTD: I don't have an ID..I don't carry no damn ID! Why I gotta have that shit?
Me: Sir, It's our policy....

Now my floor supervisor walks up and tries to help and I find the receipt in the bag. My floor sup asks him for his ID again and he goes through his whole belligerent speech again and the poor girl starts to ask questions
Floor Sup: Do you have an id in the car?
AOTD: nope
Floor Sup: Maybe at home
AOTD: Dammit, I said no!
Floor Sup: Well I'm sorry, we won't be able to handle your return
AOTD: I'll go out to the car and have my damn wife bring HER id in..will that help y'all??!!!
Me and Floor Sup: Sure, great, thanks

Meanwhile I'm standing there thinking "what jackass, let alone a grown ass man, doesn't have ANY form of id on them..ever?"

A few minutes later this huge woman comes bounding in..I know she's pissed because it looks like she has a hard time walking..poor thing

She throws her ID on the counter and since I'm SUPPOSED to be nice to the customers, so I just say "thank you". I start to process her return and she starts her own line of bullshit by asking why we need to see her ID..*sigh*

Me: Ma'am, it's our policy since we've had some return abuse in the past...
AOTD's Wife: *snapping teeth* Well it's just stupid..we have a receipt and we paid cash..
Me: I understand, I'll get your money to you in just a second...
AOTD's Wife: Where the hell does it say that I have t have an ID to return something
Me: Here, and here..(Showing her the very large sign at the register and the text on the back of her receipt)
She of course then notices the old signage attached to the countertop that does NOT mention the ID policy..
AOTD's Wife: Well it doesn't say anything right here!!!!! Oh, and it says you have the "right" but that means that you don't really HAVE to ask for ID, (here's the motherfuckin' kicker) YOU'RE JUST DOING IT BECAUSE IT'S US!!! BECAUSE OF OUR COLOR!!

Ok, let me eesplain sunting to yoo, before this lady even came in, the floor sup (who is white) had already left..I was the only one standing there..and I'm black..blacker than her in fact...but now I'm "tha man"., that's not why...uh..please sign here
AOTD: You companies just don't want us to have our money back..that's all it just standin' there "following policy" and shit

Ok, so now I'm pissed

Me: Sir, I'm GIVING you your money back..I really don't feel like getting fired over a simple, easy to follow policy ok??
AOTD: Oh, why you scared of gettin' fired huh??
Me: (thinking) what in the blue fuck are you talking about??
Me: (doing my BEST fake smile) Ok, here's your refund of $91.80, thanks for coming in..buh bye!
Now keep in mind, the entire time I'm doing my thing, they NEVER shut up. The two of them have come up with every conspiracy theory in the book and they CONTINUED to talk shit all the way out the door...

I swear to god, I almost followed them out to their car to slap them.
People kill me with that bullshit...if a store wanted me to stand on the counter and shoot bottle rockets out of my ass for a cash refund, I'd do it..what's the big deal??


Riotgrrl said...

Oh my lord! That gives me some major de ja vu! When I worked at whole foods there was a guy who came in a FEW times pulling some bullshit returning. I'm talking about FLAGRANT return abuse, no question that this guy was FULL of shit. He would come in, march straight to customer service, and demand to speak to a manager. The shift manager would come to the counter and he would start railing about a twenty dollar cake he bought that tasted SO AWFUL that he had to throw it away! Do you have the receipt sir? NO. No cake, and no receipt, so the shifty says sorry no-can-do. Out comes the race card and the very first shifty to encounter this issue totally caved! Which is why he made future repeated attempts, and while our turnover was high, it wasn't THAT high. It was well documented that there were to be no returns for people with no product and no receipt--you'd think that would go without saying. How RUDE that a person will pull an OBVIOUS scam and then try to bully someone by crying wolf like that. Grr. I hate bullies!

Riotgrrl said...

Boloney Sandwhich here, Riotgrrl's hubby, I totaly feel for you in these situations. I work loss prevention at a local strip mall and I must admit I see at least a dozen or so of these types (white, black, purple, fuscia, etc.) a week.
And each time it's the same old shit:

- I aint got no reciept
- I aint got no ID
- I didn't steal nothin'

Fights, knives, shanks, runners, big mouths, addicts, etc.

Retail sucks. The only thing that would make it even remotely fun would be (1) a living wage and (2) the ability to tell the asshole, that he is in fact an asshole.

Hang in there, you have my support.

Holly said...

Ok, let me eesplain sunting to yoo, before this lady even came in, the floor sup (who is white) had already left..I was the only one standing there..and I'm black..blacker than her in fact...but now I'm "tha man".

Illogical lunacy is the great equalizer, crossing all socioeconomic and racial boundaries.

In other words, ROFLMAO!! Sorry. Hang in there - people are crazy, but we don't have to let them drive us. We can walk.

belly said...


i can barely read your posts b/c i'm freaking crying from the laughter...

so friggin funny. SO funny.