Friday, January 18, 2008

A Bitch By Any Other Name...

Last night I was thinking about all the crazy people that I have come across while working retail/customer service.
The common theme that seems to come up is the word "Bitch". I used to get offended but now I've learned to laugh at people when they call me one..a defense mechanism maybe??

Anywayssss, occasionally I work at nightclubs as a cashier..yay, belligerent drunk people!!!

My policy is to not put up with shit such as:

Asking me what the cover is when the sign is right in front of you
Handing me balled up money (Strippers and Dope Boys have a bad habit of doing that)
Screaming at me
Leaning on the counter to flirt and hope I let you in for free (either pay me or get the fuck on already)
Asking to speak to the manager, again to try to get in free..knowing full well that you don't know him

During most shifts I will be called some form of bitch at least 5 times a night..on a slow night, that is.

Bitches I've been called:

Fat Bitch - pretty basic and unimaginative if you ask me
Stupid Bitch
Dumb Bitch
Stank Bitch
Fuck Bitch
Fucking Bitch
Black Bitch - again, so obvious
Just Plain ole' Bitch
Retarded Bitch
Mean Bitch - well that one's true...
Nappy Headed Bitch - Not to be confused with Don Imus and the Nappy Headed Hoes
Curly Headed Bitch
Assy Bitch - ??? At first I thought he said Gassy Bitch..and I laughed
Fine Bitch - Maybe they meant Fine,Bitch but I took it as a compliment at the time
Bourgie Bitch
Super Bitch - Wow, a superhero, I'm flattered

Then a guy called me a combination of at least 10 of these in ONE BREATH..frankly, I was impressed. He was soooo mad because I wouldn't let him in with the $6 he tried to hand me.

My parting motto has become:

Oh well, at least THIS bitch is inside the club...thanks for comin' out!! And then I wave and smile my best pageant smile (That ALWAYS pisses them off)


Amber said...

Bourgie - Someone who is class-conscious, with educated and discerning tastes, and interested in enjoying the finer things in life. It is definitely not high-class, aristoratic, snooty, or snobbish. “Bourgie” is as much an idea, and a state of mind, as it is an attitude towards enjoying good food, good friends, and good conversation, everyday. It evokes a mood of simple elegance, casual yet sophisticated—modern.
- courtesy of urban

I'd be totally flattered.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I always enjoy being called "Crazy Bitch". It's rare, but makes me feel proud. I liked it so much that my best friend had it written in icing on my birthday cake one year.

I like yer blog so far :)

belly said...

what about funny bitch? i CANNOT stop laughing.

love your sense of humor. love your blog. i'll be back:).