Thursday, April 19, 2007

Trash Bandit

I'm going to kick Belly in his spleen....

This morning after I came back from the cafeteria, I looked in MY trash can and saw 2 blister-packs of "something". I looked a little closer and saw the brand "Aquaban"...It seemed weird to me so I asked around the immediate cube farm:

Cube 1 report: nope not me

Cube 2 report: WHAT was in your trash can???

All other areas: "Maybe it's a form of crack rock", "Does it look chewable?", "I'll take it off your hands"......blah blah blah

Then I turned to the vortex of donuts and chicken wings a.k.a Belly's cubicle and asked him.....He says: "Yeah, I put them in there"...I then said: "Don't you have your OWN freakin' trash can??"...then this fucker replies: "Well at the time, I didn't" this asshole serious???

Where the hell could his trash can have gone?? Lunch? The toilet? Afghanistan??

So instead of the FATKINS diet, the key to his supposed weight loss is diuretics....and I guess he didn't want the evidence to be in his own trash..what a stupid ass.

Speaking of bellies, yesterday we were forced to watch a motivational video in our staff meeting. Of course Belly had to position himself DIRECTLY in my line of sight...I was forced to look OVER his stomach to see the TV..and he just sat there, looking all proud of that monstrosity....His shirt was SOOOOOO tight that another co-worker slipped me a note to comment on how hard his gut looked "solid fat" she described it as......yeck..I'm nauseous


His mustache is getting out of control again, nice carpet sample ya got there Belly...he's starting to look like Scotty and Walter from The Whispers (see goofy looking twins below)

1 comment:

phosgraphis said...

I just wanted you to know that I love your blog! I think you're hilarious, and I love the stories.

That said. I saw this and thought of your stories about Belly.