Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Men Are Stupid - A Continuing Series

Can I choke TOH out please???

I am officially "not speaking" to The Other Half this week.

Saturday, we decided that we would have Easter dinner on Sunday. I went out and bought a cute little spiral sliced ham and decided on some sides.
We woke up Sunday morning and did a little spring cleaning - We should be ashamed of ourselves, letting the TV get THAT dusty...anywhooo...

I slaved over a hot stove for about two hours that afternoon - and you know I hate that.
Meanwhile, every few minutes, TOH would come in from the back porch and pour himself a drink, praising me each time for being "such a good cook and a great girlfriend"....1 drink, 2 drinks, 3 drinks....5 drinks later!!!: He comes in and goes to the bedroom.
I figure he's going to get washed up for dinner since he CLAIMED that we were having company, his best friend from down the road. I let him know dinner was just about ready.

Around 20 minutes later, I noticed that it was kind of quiet back there, (kinda like when you're babysitting kids and you just KNOW that they are back there fuckin' something up).

I went back there to find this boy ASLEEEEEEEEP!!!! I was kind of pissed but he looked cute so I let him sleep for a while.

That was at 6:00pm

At 7:00pm, starving and pissed, I called his friend, only to be informed that he wouldn't be coming..and that he told TOH this news TWO FUCKING HOURS AGO!!!!

I "attempted" to wake him up....only got incoherent mumbling......

7:30pm - Ate Easter Sunday dinner by myself

8:00pm - tried to wake his ass up again..more mumbling..then a promise to get up and eat - "In a minute"

9:45pm - Thought of ways to smother him in his sleep and/or stab him and make it look like an accident

10:30 - Pissed, packed all the food up for lunches and what-not. Wrapped his "damn plate" in plastic wrap and cleaned the "fucking kitchen"Slamming doors and cabinets for maximum effect.

10:50pm - Made him move out of his "hog the bed, diagonal, drunk person" position so that I could go to sleep on my side

11:00pm - listened to him apologize profusely after I cussed him out and called him a closet alcoholic AND a raging asshole, then told him he made me feel like an ass-crack for trying to do something special for his inconsiderate ASS....

11:30 - still mad, trying to sleep, now I have acid reflux..great, what next? - Locusts?? Boils??

1 comment:

singleton said...

Oh God, I am cracking up! So very sorry your day sucked, but you summed it up so well, I was steaming right behind you! Arrrrrgggh! And I know that go-to-bed-mad-as-hell biz, you wake up mad at the dog, the mailman, the little old lady crossing the damn street! I sooooo hope the last two days have been better!