Sunday, April 15, 2007

Damn You, Friday The 13th

Well damn it all to hell.....

I got into a car accident on Friday.

Since I was STILL mad at TOH (he contributed to my anger REPEATEDLY throughout the week..more on that at another time) I decided to take the day off.

My plans were to:

1. Get my weave tightened/exchanged
2. Eat wherever and whatever I wanted to
3. Shop till most of my money was gone
4. Meet friends for dinner
5. Go drinking and bowling with those friends and more co-workers

Numbers 1, 2 and 3 went well..I'll tell you about my hairdresser's demon seed child next post. I was feeling all good and looking cute with numerous unnecessary purchases in the trunk.

Well, on the way to #4, I was exiting the freeway. I noticed that traffic was heavy on the off-ramp so I slowed down....then the fucker shithead bastard in front of me SLAMS on his raggedy brakes (for no good reason) and I had to swerve to the right to avoid hitting his dumb ass. I ended up next to him in the right-hand emergency lane...I looked over and let his ass have it..It seemed the two guys in the car didn't speak much english..they were just kinda staring at the crazy black broad.

Just when I thought it was all over and I was 5 seconds into my cussing and threatening fit, BAM!!!!!! A gold car hit me from behind...the assholes I tried to avoid hitting just stared at me some more and took off.

I sat there for a few seconds making sure I wasn't bleeding or anything then I got out of the car only to find absolutely "flipped the fuck out" young girl screaming and crying...for some reason, I was crying too..scared I guess.

When I got to the back of my car that's when I "flipped the fuck out" and called 911..I don't remember much but I'm sure that call was incoherent and strange.

I do however, remember that my god damned license plate was in the middle of the freeway..and I'm thinking: "son of a bitch..how am I going to get that back?????"
The girl that hit me saw me looking and she starts screaming "OH MY GOOOOOD!!DON'T GO GET THAT!!!"

I said: "umm, okay sugar..calm down and get back in the car" ('cuz you're making me really nervous)
She absolutely REFUSED to get back in the car and started crying again, saying that someone she knew died yesterday in a car accident...poor girl.
She kept saying it was "her fault" and that she swerved when she saw me swerve but didn't think she would hit my car "like that".

A couple minutes later..here come the cops...license, insurance, what happened, young girl freaking out some more ..blah, blah blah. Her parents pulled up behind the cop..damn, I wish my parents would have come down to ME from the side of the road.
Her Camry was jacked all the hell up. The hood was crumpled and parts of her shit were all over the place. My car's bumper was scraped and had numerous holes in it but (knock on wood) it was still attached. Good 'ole American Muscle..I guess....

The Cop then stopped traffic to get my license plate and props it up in my back window..('preciate that, officer), gives me a subpoena and tells me to "get on home now"..(don't ya just love the South??)

TOH was nice enough to come home and barely ask me how I was..jees, can't I just smother him in his sleep??

My neck was hurting so I went to the hospital that's run by my health insurance company...FOUR FUCKING HOURS LATER, I've had4 X-rays, 6 gallons of blood drawn, an insulin shot, a prescription for a damn fine muscle relaxer and an extended chastising by the doctor about my blood sugar...The whole time she was "yelling" at me, all I was thinking was: "look lady, I'm stressed!! Can i just go drinking now???"

One good thing, I've lost 12 pounds so far..think I'll be "bikini-fine by summer time"?..probably not, more like "one piece with a wrap and a large beach towel-fine by fall" but anywhooo...

I went home, ate a big hamburger and some fries, took the muscle relaxer, realized that the drug label said to NOT TAKE WITH A HIGH FAT OR HEAVY MEAL then drifted off to sleep..I wonder what that label meant??..again, anywhoooo

I woke up the next day and wasn't dead OR paralyzed from the neck down so everything must be OK.

An adjuster from my insurance company came by on Saturday and gave me an estimate..freakin' $650 to replace and paint a bumper?? Damn, thank god it wasn't worse...think I could get them to paint the whole damn car while they're at it..or would that be insurance fraud..who knows??

Wouldn't you now it, after he left, I noticed that THE ENTIRE EXHAUST SYSTEM WAS HANGING DOWN under my car..I was wondering what that damn noise was...how did he NOT see that??

Damn you, Friday the 13th!!!!!

1 comment:

Riotgrrlwargasm said...

I'm so glad you're OK! Holy crap I bet that was terrifying. Car accidents are one of my greatest fears in life, Hubby's too, so we don't drive in rush hour or bad weather. I know that barely reduces our risk, but it's something anyway.

Take it easy! Drink lots of water! Stay home from work! ; . )