Damn You Santa

Guess what I got for Christmas.....

Yep, food poisoning. And it seems like I was the only one who got it..TOH is probably trying to kill me for the insurance money.

Yesterday, since I had the day off, I laid around and ate leftover food from Christmas day..big mistake.
I think it was the cornbread dressing..it seemed a little moist for my taste (probably bacteria masking itself as chicken stock) but my fat ass ate it anyway.
That was at around 12:30 pm...by 3:30 pm, I woke up and was a little delirious but just shook it off and blamed it on hunger.
So then I ate a fajita with fixings from Christmas Eve..with sour cream AND cheese...more mistakes for me, thanks.
It seems that I fell back into another daze of some sort and when TOH came home at 5:00 pm, he said I looked weird and tired.."oh bollocks", I said and claimed that I was just a little confused from sleeping all day. He was hungry so we went to the sports bar down the street and I ate a loaded, greasy baked potato and picked at a cheeseburger..do you see a pattern developing???
I went to bed around 10:00 pm after eating 3 little vanilla sandwich cookies and my stomach hurt a little..I shrugged it off until:

1:30 am: It felt like somebody had kicked me in the ribs..not cute
2:00 am: In tears, begging TOH to wake up and rub my stomach..*insert half ass rubbing here* he's a massage therapist for shit's sake and this is all I get!! I tried to drink some soda and chew a Pepcid..not a good idea..
2:10 am thru 6:30 am: Gas pain, bloating and projectile vomiting (oh, good times) TOH, poor thing, tried to help me but I think I screamed at him to "stop touching me"..."and turn off that DAMN light"..must remember to apologize to him today.

I do my best to avoid vomiting at all costs..hell, I can't even watch it on TV..how am I going to have kids???
So you can imagine my apprehension to even move in the slightest way because that would bring on the sweats and the watery mouth..yeck.

On top of all that, I had to work today..and people will NOT leave me alone..I should have called out sick...maybe tomorrow.

Oh..and I saw Belly in the parking lot today with a fat ass bag of greasiness when I was walking in..I can taste the bile as I type..*passing out*