Friday, April 03, 2009

ANOTHER Cubicle Stalker

I swear..just when you think it's safe to eat in your own fucking cubicle....

I got a new cube mate a few months..she came over from another dept. and already had a "rep" as an insufferable bitch.

Over my short life I have had AT LEAST 15 friends like this...seems that I attract that type.

So because of this, I decide to at least be nice to her...wrong move.

She clamped on to me like a leech and I can't scrape her off....I shall call her Carrot Top..yep, she's got red hair, she's southern and incredibly politically incorrect - She still calls Asian people "Them Orientals"...I can just imagine what she calls us Blacks..I really did try to help her one day:

Me: Um, Carrot Top, you shouldn't use the word Oriental - It's like you calling me colored or negro....

Carrot Top: Uhhh..whuuut you tawlkin bout guhl..Fiddly Dee, I declahhhare

Ok, she didn't say the last part but that's how she sounds..I swear.

So I've noticed that just like Belly, every time I eat, say or do anything, she stands up and makes a comment about it...

"MMMM, that looks good"

"Is that a carrot??..Wow"

"You're husband sure says nice things to you..."


What is so damned interesting about me and my food choices for shit's sake?

And if that isn't enough, she has this way of acting like she's not looking at me...she'll stand up, and look like she's scanning the room..but out of the corner of my eye...I can see her eyeballin' me...and unfortunately, we have low cube walls..damn it!!!

OH Wait!!...I forgot!!

There I was, minding my own fucking business, trying to do my insulin shot with my Flexpen (more on that later), which involves me pulling out some of the fat from my gut and jabbing it..this weirdo hears the clicking sound it makes, stands up and says:

"Oh, I'm sorrrryy..Now you know you don't have ANY privacy as long as I'm here huuuun...I mean um, I'm just kidding..."

Kidding my ass, that bitch was serious.

1 comment:

Eve said...