I was talking to my freakin' hilarious co-worker - Let's call him Hee Haw Woo Hoo - when who bounds around the corner???...yes, it was fat ass Belly!!!..carrying a vegetable plate from the cafeteria..[insert giggles here]
I was trying to tell a story of how one of the temps we call "Connie" (because she cons everybody out of money) that I barely even know, molestered me the other day (yes, I said molestered like Cartman on South Park)..mmm hmm, I was chillin',with my feet propped up under my desk..mindin' my own fuckin' business.. when all of the sudden, I feel a hand massaging my shoulder..reeeally slooowly.
So I turn to look and it's Connie's weird ass, asking me if I had eaten too much at the potluck earlier.
I let her know that I was just relaxing and she goes "oh..you seemed a little quiet so I thought I'd come see about you". Then she stood there some more..thank god my phone rang and she kinda just floated away...yeckkk.
I should have punched that bitch in the stomach..but I'm lazy.
So anyway, I'm trying to explain this scene to Hee Haw Woo Hoo when Belly interrupts and says: "Was it like this..?" then HE RUBBED MY ARM, all slow and shit...on my exposed, chocolaty caramel flesh....fucking christ jesus lord, I nearly shit my pants with disgust.
In an awkward moment while Hee Haw Woo Hoo was staring at me in disbelief, I just said "no..ummm, it was a little more inappropriate like kinda up by my shoulder...and stuff..umm, err."
Then I tried to laugh it off and continue the story..he finally went away and Hee Haw Woo Hoo just laughed and laughed (remind me to kill Hee Haw Woo Hoo later).
I guess I also should have punched Belly in the stomach..but we all know that I can't walk around here with a broken arm...casts are soooo 2002.