What Next??...Locusts

Well if the whole "living without hot water for a whole damn week" ordeal was not enough, now we've got a fucking flood in the kitchen..great.

TWO NIGHTS ago, I noticed that when I was rinsing a dish, the water on both sides of the sink started to rise..what the?
So I turned on the garbage disposal...bad idea, water shot 3 feet in the air on the other side of the sink.
Then the dishwasher started to fill with backed up, black, sink water..mmm, tasty.
I freaked out, called TOH who was out drinking with friends..yeah, I know..men. Well, I told (demanded) him to bring some Draino home..of course he forgot to..then claimed that I never asked him to..huh?

ANY DAMN WAY.....

I called the land-lady and told her to have a plumber sent out ASAP..obviously ASAP doesn't mean what I think it does because she hemmed and hawed ALL the next day speculating that maybe it was the city's fault..or maybe it was a sewer backup..or maybe aliens did it.
Meanwhile, I've got nasty, smelly, greasy, standing water and filthy dishes everywhere...call a fucking plumber lady!!

Last night at around 11pm (after no word from ANYBODY), I noticed that the water that receded in the sink was now filling up the dishwasher and said water was now FLOWING freely from every crack in the dishwasher..all over the damn floor...* Insert more panic from me here*
I left a frenzied message for that broad and got to work.

While I'm standing there, bailing water like we're on the Titanic, I'm SCREAMING for TOH to help me..and screaming..and calling..no TOH..what in the Blue Fuck???
I ran into the bedroom to find his ass sleeping..soundly and peacefully.
Of course I couldn't let this continue so I kicked the frame of the bed..maybe a little too hard..and screamed for him to help me.
"wha..huh? huh wha?" is all he said as he followed me to the kitchen.

More water bailing and cussing from me and all he did was stand there..dazed and confused and pissing me off to the 'nth degree.
I asked him to call the land-lady again and he stood there some more then pressed some buttons on the phone..I'm not exactly sure what the fuck he was doing but then he finally found the number and put it on speaker. Voicemail..of fucking course...he then flings the phone on the counter and stands there some more.
Me: TOH, grab this bucket and dump it outside...
TOH: *Silence*
Before I said something that would potentially end our relationship, I told him that "I had it under control" and for him to go back to bed..I swear, if I didn't love him....

Land-Lady calls back claiming that she 'd been calling "her plumber" all day but his voicemail was full..whatever.
I told her that as usual, I would handle it but that she would have to pay for it.."OK" was all I got....

Cut to THIS MORNING

Of course, the plumber didn't get here until 9:45am (I was supposed to be at work at 9am) and land-lady has him on the phone for 15 minutes, again, attempting to assign blame. She actually waned him to save whatever was blocking the drain so she could see if it came from outside or inside the condo....

Crazy Bitch

He told her that was NOT possible because once he snaked it, it would probably go down the drain anyway..who cares?
Obviously, she does because she kept on...eventually he told her that he had to go.

I watched him undo the P-trap and push out the nastiest block of..ewwness, that I have ever seen.
He said it was probably from NOT HAVING HOT WATER constantly going through the drains but that maybe I shouldn't put grease in the sink..uh, I didn't..but oh well, at least I didn't have to pay the $205 he charged her to snake the pipe which looking back at it, could have been done for WAY cheaper. Again, oh well.

So I guess I'll spend the rest of my evening busting suds..with no help from TOH, of course.