Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Poor Meat Hooks..Uh, No

I was mean to Meat Hooks today...and it was fun.....

This weekend, I was in Target, in the Dollar Aisle (of course), better yet, the CLEARANCE Dollar Aisle when what did my eyes have the pleasure of seeing....A USB Cup Warmer!!! (with LED light no doubt)
I knew it's shiny mirrored surface would be sure to titillate the OCD nerve in Meat Hook's little brain.

So I bought cost .68 cents thankyouverymuch.

I then casually placed it near my CPU..lookin' all sparkly and shit...and wouldn't ya know comes Meat Hooks.

He stood there behind me..breathin' and shit as usual

After a freakishly long pause he says:

What's THAT thing???
Me: What thing?
Meat Hooks: THAT thing..
Me: Huh?, wha' thing (being hateful is so damn funny to me)
Meat Hooks: (breathing heavy at this point) That, that that that RIGHT THEEEEERE!!

and ONLY after his finger was 2 millimeters from the cool, shiny object did I say:

"Oh that? It's a cup warmer..or something" then I continued to look like I was working...he stood there and "ooohed and ahhed" for a few minutes while I ignored him. I could tell by the quiver in his voice that he wanted to touch it BUT I REFUSED TO OFFER..hee hee

But of course, because my life hates me, Meat Hooks returned a couple of hours later..yay, great.

I saw him rounding the corner but I chose to ignore him. I figured he was there to see Belly, and so did Belly
Belly: Hey guy, (I hate when he calls people guy) I'll be done in just a second
Meat Hooks: Who said I was coming to see youuuu?? (yeck)

I heard some sort of annoying crunching behind me but again, chose to ignore his ass...more crunching..and lurking..crunch...crunch...then I noticed that he was crouching just outside my cubicle bag noise..crunch...He was reading my Dilbert cartoons that I have posted on the cubicle wall to irritate management...
Meat Hooks: (popping up like Jack in The Box) Hey Linka!! (again, wtf?) Can I make a copy of this?
Me: Of what? (I know, the bitch lives)
Meat Hooks: This Dilbert thing right here

Ok, let me say that I have had that VERY cartoon outside my fucking cubicle for THREE AND A HALF YEARS..but all of a sudden, today, you NEED to make a copy.

If I didn't need this job..I'd quit.


AtYourCervix said...

You are an evil, evil woman Linka. I love your evilness!!

imhelendt said...

I just stumbled across your blog today. And not to horrify you or anything, but it sounds like Meat Hooks has the hots for you. I know, now you hate me and want to disinfect your eyeballs, but just sayin'. :) Oh and I have no solutions for you. Except openly picking your nose in front of him. ;)