It seems that I may have pissed off a VERY famous blogger (who shall remain nameless..for now).
I made a comment on one of her posts where she said that her very difficult child's outbursts and fits basically ruined a family trip.
All I said was that: a well timed ass whipping usually clears the air and makes for a lovely vacation...or something to that effect... and I also suggested that maybe she try being the boss instead of letting a child run roughshod all over her and her husband...
I don't think she was ready to "accept what I was offering"...ooops, uh, sorry.
She wrote me back and asked me if I had kids..I lied kinda..I'm the oldest of three and had the "privilege" of having to raise them since they were babies..bottles, diapers and everything..even though my mom was around, she worked a lot!!
Anywhooooo,
Since I was forced into this position, I felt like I did actually have kids and that I can comment on such things.
I think people these days are so caught up in being their child's friend that instead of being a parent, they're worried about hurting their feelings....uh, bullshit...when I was growing up, my parents were THE BOSS..end of discussion.
Yeah, sometimes it would have been nice, every once in a while, to live in a democratic-type household where all of our opinions were valued and where we could express ourselves and give opinions...and talk back...with sass mouth...but SORRY..we would have taken advantage of it, I'm sure.
I went to a friend's house once and she called her mom stupid..in anger....in front of everybody...all loud and shit...I actually ducked in the anticipation of a monumental ass whipping...but no!! Her mom just stood there..didn't say a damn thing and kind of laughed...nothing ever happened to her..are you kidding me??
I told her a story of how:
I once told my mom that I hated her...really loud..by the front door...and all the neighbors heard....After I awoke on the foyer floor....
She actually took my birthday away..that whole day came and went without as much as a whisper, my little brother wasn't even allowed to speak to me!!
An ass whipping AND further punishment??? Harsh, yes, but I learned to respect my mother and I also learned to say shit under my breath next time).
Anyway, I don't think she appreciated me and my assvice..dammit, this is just like high school all over again where the popular girl thinks you are a piece of shit....
But, oh well, as an adult..I can say what I want *looking around, checking to see if my mom is around*
Oh, residual trauma, isn't it wonderful???
6 comments:
Ok, heres where I agree with you. Kids and parents should NOT be friends. There has to be a distinction between who is raising who. I dont however agree with hitting kids, and I do realize that it all has to do with how different people are raised. Concerning your comment though, you deffinatley had a point. She was probably offended about the ass whoppin, which I understand because if someone told me to slap my kid around (and was serious about it) Id be pissed too. BUT, I think the fact that you didnt join her in the little hug box and tell her that shes a great mom and that kids will be kids is why she got fully pissed.
The thing is about these blogs is that we open ourselves up to criticism and opinions, and whether or not you have kids isnt so much of an issue, since you have in fact raised kids. Now, giving child birth advice is one thing, but I have received some of the best advice from my sister who raised me, or nannies, or people who have just dealt with kids on a babysitter basis.
Really, the only really awkward thing that I saw in your comment was that you brought up the controversy of kid smackin, and that she probably wanted a hug box rather than constructive advice. I have no idea who you are talking about though, and Im sorry if I offend that person, Im just answering what you wrote here.
Hi Linka. I'm a lurker. This is my first comment. I too come from the generation of parents are the boss. But, somehow, with my own children, I am not able to pull it off. It's a lot harder to do than it looks. But, I'd LOVE to know who the blogger is...
Hey, you know what? If she didn't want comments, positive or negative, she wouldn't have allowed comments or put her blog up for God and everybody to see. So, she can just be pissed and deal with it. Obviously she's a big girl (whoever she is) and she can take it! You go!
linka:
Too bad your story was construed as advice. Lots of people give advice--you have to CHOOSE however to take it or say thank you and promptly forget it.
I think your story is important because the "parents as friends" thing really is a problem. You need to be a PARENT, an AUTHORITY figure, maybe even uberlord (or lady) of your home. You are ultimately and legally responsible for your progeny.
Kids need rules. You tell them the rules and if they do not obey, they suffer the consequences. Hubby and I tag team on this with our kid and it works pretty good (plus you don't have to be the boss all by yourself!)
Good behavior = good stuff
Bad behavior = punishment (no TV, goodies from Grandma, DVDs, whatever will work with your kid).
It's amazing how some of them will shape up when you let them know you're the parent.
For REAL! OMG, my nickname was "mommy number two" because I had four kids in my care every day and every weekend! I had enough parenting experience by 15 to know I needed to go on the PILL. Plus I babysat other people's kids on the side for actual money, rather than just "a roof over [my] head and clothes on [my] back."
So I learned early on that kids are only good if you're tough up front and give 'em little rewards when they deserve it. I see shitty wussy parents all over the place who just don't know how to put their foot down, and just whine and plead with their kids to behave!
Fuuuuck that shit. I'm not much of one for smacks on the ass, so I have developed one super evil mom-look. I don't have kids yet, but I'm ready. And like you, I'm not about to let some marshmallow-ass whiney pal-parent tell me that I don't know thing one about disciplining kids.
Fuck that bitch, she's just pissed because her kids are probably running wild, setting the curtains on fire and egging cars!
You just can't be friends with your kids until they have kids of their own or are paying for their own college. It's just that simple. Kids need boundaries and thrive in those situations ... along with a little encouragement and praise on a daily basis...they do great.
What the hell happend to my kids then?!
hheeehehe J/K!
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