Saturday, April 26, 2008

R.I.P. Big Blue Aka Blue Girl

Why 2 names for 1 car?
Well when I drive it, it's a boy and when TOH drives it, it's a girl..because we're stupid like that.

We went to see the poor thing at the impound lot yesterday..SO not good as you can see.

This is OBVIOUSLY where the telephone pole ended up.

And to add insult to injury, they stole all of the Cadillac emblems!

Look at his nuts justa hangin'.

We suspect this is where the thief was ejected from..but we could be wrong.

Just look at my pretty car on the right, silently mocking Big that a smirk on Big Black's grille?? Sibling rivalry can be so harsh.

Since the "yard master" claimed that only one person could go in at a time, I watched TOH stare at the car and shake his head for 10 minutes, that is until I yelled for him (from half a football field away) to pull his head out of his ass and start loading up the bags I gave him...what? It was hot, windy and my nose and eyes were starting to cake up with pollen and dirt.

I sweet talked another guy into letting me in to help and we tried to recover what we could but the trunk wouldn't open.
He offered to pry it open with the forklift but TOH had had enough for one day.
Of course I was pissed that he had no desire to check for the rare sneakers that I bought him and the $25 worth of fire starter log things and the $30 baseball hat and the Cd's and the..well ALL the shit I wanted back...he said he "didn't care about anything that was left"..uh, thanks?

Oh did I tell you that this ordeal took all fucking day and over half a tank of $3.79 per gallon gas? Seems that when this happens to you, you have to get a 10 page police report from one place (thank god she didn't charge us the usual $1 per page), then you have to go to another place to have the vehicle released to whoever the hell, OH! but before you do that, you have to have the tag office where you live fax over a copy of your registration to the meanest, ugliest slipper wearing, "wish I didn't have this damn job" woman in the world at the release place...once you show all the ID you can muster and get your colon checked THEN you have to drive 15 miles over to the ghetto of all ghettos (and I know ghettos) where the salvage yard is with an office that looks like it was put together with bat shit and fake wood paneling just so you can TRY to scrape up whatever belongings that haven't been stolen yet while standing in 3 inches of mud and broken glass...sheeesus!!

We were able to laugh about it once we got home so I guess that's all that counts.


colleen said...

Oh, don't be surprised when they total your car that they'll ask for all your sets of keys.

As if, you might come back and drive it away.

This happened to my husband's car (a tank old Volvo wagon -1998) last year after he was T-boned by a Mercedes SUV (the expensive huge boxy one).

Thankfully, Hubby walked away from that one, but Safeco was really weird about some things. Otherwise, their service beat the heck out of American Family, who tried to mess with me on rentals when some teenager crashed into my car about a month ago.

Good luck and I hope the trunk opens eventually!

Riotgrrl said...

Oh my good lord! Those are some terrifying images. I'm glad no one died. I'd be interested to know if there was a cop-cam on the dash taping all that, but only because I'm a little morbid.

My condolences to your OH. Now just think of the multitude of different situations in which he will be able use this experience to hang over the heads of your teenage children of the future and how they're going to roll their eyes in exasperation! "Ugh, DAD, we've HEARD the blue car story a HUNDRED times already!"