Thursday, July 12, 2007

Married..Finally, Dammit!!!

OK, the deed is done!!!!

Me and TOH tied the knot on Saturday - 7/7/07

And just in case you are wondering, I only had TWO Bridezilla moments....

1. I looked out the window and saw that the chairs were facing THE FUCKING CONSTRUCTION SITE across the grassy, can't kill em...I called my mom on her cell phone screaming like a banshee and she (I swear, she's the cutest thing alive) said "The bride doesn't want to face a construction site, please turn your chairs around".

2. After the ceremony, the plan was to have everybody walk down the path to the "reception area" (our friend's townhouse) and shortly after, we would have people serve themselves from the buffet...that was "the plan"......There I was, basking in the afterglow of the ceremony, posing for pictures and such when all of a sudden, our male/friend owner of the house comes up to me and says :

Male Friend/Homeowner: We need you at the house..RIGHT NOW!!

Me: Why??

Male Homeowner: It's all going TO SHIT!!

Me: Huh??

Male Homeowner: Nobody knows where to put the food, your whole vision is falling apart!!!

Me: You CAN'T be serious..*suppressing anger*

Male Homeowner: Dead serious

I ripped myself away from my guests and scooted down the path, all worried and shit..When I got there, it all "looked" under control to freak out wayyy too easily.

All in all, it was a fun day though. It was kind of embarrassing to have everybody's eyes on you the whole day while they yelled shit like:"kiss!!" "eat the cake!!" "drink the champagne!!".....

How 'bout shut the hell up?

I must say, champagne is nasty...I've been belching it up since Saturday..maybe because it was CHEAP champagne..yeah, that'll do it.

The cake was good's a picture

I stuck the flowers and beads and shit in it myself..I am so'd think I would have ironed the tablecloth though huh??

After the reception, we stayed at The Westin - Our friend payed for ONE we stayed for exactly ONE night..what?? we're cheap asses.
The bed was nice but it wasn't MY bed (I am just NEVER fucking happy) and it didn't have a microwave...sadly, I would have preferred something like the Amerisuites..I know.."ungrateful bitch"..blah blah blah

We also felt pressured by the aforementioned friend to have sex once we got there..she figured that since SHE didn't have sex on her wedding night SOMEBODY was going to..she would have stayed in the room to ensure that we did if I would have let her...I'm serious.
We ended up eating cake..nope, they didn't have silverware in the room..I guess it was romantic, then we watched TV and fell asleep...

We are so fucking sexy

And you are so fucking jealous of it!!!


Sayre said...

I think that is one of the biggest secrets they never tell you. NO ONE consumates their marriage on their wedding night. They're too damned tired. Both my wedding nights were like that. We collapsed into bed and didn't move until the next day.


(de-lurking and now back into lurk-mode)

Peanut said...


Queen of Dysfunction said...

Congrats! I'm with sayre. Nobody has sex on their wedding night. You're just too damned tired!

Riotgrrlwargasm said...

HA! I totally did it on my We ran away from the reception and disappeared into the house for a quickie. OMG, we did it on my brother's bed, eeew.

AtYourCervix said...


Girl, you rock! So much so, that I nominated you for the Rockin' Girl Blogger award. Check it out on my blog!

Keep it coming with the crazy neighbor with the assortment of kids stories. Has she asked to have you do her laundry lately?

Char said...

Congrats Linka. Love your blog and stories about your irritating ass co-worker Belly. Wish you well with the marriage.