Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Baby Is Scared Of Inflatable Shit...

Look how cute he is....loooook!

But according to mah sweet lil baybee he is a bastard from hell...and he must die.

It all started on the day before her 1st birthday party. I had BIG PLANS for the only two other "babies" that she technically knew. (She's not in daycare).

We were going to have "pool time" at my condo's lil raggedy pool after cake and ice cream and shit...

So I went out to Target and spent GOOD MONEY on all these inflatable things because according to the packages - they were fun and shit.

I sat on the floor and started to blow everything up and lil baybee immediately started to shit herself with fear..weird..I thought maybe it was the sound the air was making when I blew into them...I dunno, she could barely look at them and was clawing at my neck..WTF?

I stacked alll that expensive shit up in the corner and prayed it was just a phase.

She's kinda strange that way though..she once freaked out over some slippers that I had on..sigh, hey, I hit the jackpot and got a weird baby.

Anyway, her party came and went and the pool idea went to shit..cut to yesterday.

It was Down South Slavery hot here so we got our cute bathing gear together and went to the pool..yay, we were alone..no screaming ass banshee kids from across the street...yay.

She eyeballed the turtle like "keep it movin' fucker"...and I sat her down in it...

{Insert award-winning baby freak-out here}

I took her out and we floated around for a while..she kept throwing eye-daggers at him as he made his way to the deep end..poor turtle.

We tried again and she tried to black my eye..seriously, she was pissed..whoa, ok lady.

None of this stopped me from posting her "crying in the pool" video on Facebook for all my friends and family to mock and discuss..

cuz i'm izz a gud momma.


2 comments:

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

what kind of cruel bitch am I that I clicked on the label "Baby Don't Like It", hoping for more tales of your unhappy baby? Pretty funny stuff momma. Sorry I haven't been around to check it out for awhile.

Cristine said...

*SIIIGGHHH* I miss your blogging. Come back :(