Updates And Shit...

Well..Halloween came...BUT NO CHILDREN DID..

sigh...I decorated the porch, bought $17 worth of NAME BRAND CHOCOLATE and everything...

The Bible Thumpin' - "Halloween is the Debbul" Committee To Ruin Shit seems to have cancelled the annual costume contest at work so my painfully cute 80's costume hung in the closet like a jackass the entire time..

Fuck 'em...

Last week, I had a urinary tract infection (oooo, sexy) so I went to the doctor..seems I'm pregnant and such....

but the Saturday before finding out, I went out clubbin with the co-workers and was DRUNK AS ALL HELL..and because I felt fat and all, decided to wear TWO girdle/corsets...nice prenatal care eh?..I'm a mothering phenomenon.

I have an appointment for 2pm eastern..today.

But I am scared..I'm 37..I have Type 2 Diabetes and I have IMMENSE uterine fibroids..and I have a weird detachment to the lil thing that we have named "Peanut"..because I'm a scared ass dumb ass...and because I can't keep my fucking mouth shut, proceeded to tell my co-workers..the same co-workers whose mouths are so big and far reaching, they could probably get a hand delivered message to Bin Laden before sun-up.

And some people seemed happy for me..some just told me I better not make THEIR lives miserable for the next 9 months and to sit my questioning ass down..um, wow.

But then about 45 minutes ago...I woke up with the urge to pee...and there was some blood..like it was the 1st day of my period..and I cried...a lot..really quietly because I did not want to wake my husband up..because he is so sweet and excited and worried that the waistband of my panties could hurt the baby...shit, I love him so much.

I've tried to make him aware of what could "happen" because of my Diabetes..but he says sweet things like: "No offense to the lil he/she/it inside you but, I just want YOU to be alive and healthy"..could ya just hump his leg??!!??

oh, back to the story and stuff..

I called my insurance company's "advice nurse" at what the hell o'thirty and tried not to wail uncontrollably in his ear..he was so nice and "Southern"..with a reassuring lilt in his voice.."Now, sugar, if you were in the kind of pain I'M asking you about, honey, you wouldn't have to think about it"..I love southern lilty male voices.
But then all of the horrible miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy stories that I've been hearing about and reading about on this fucking internet thing started swirling around in my head and I cried to poor Richard Advice Nurse Guy..begging him to get me an earlier appointment...as if a 4 am appointment was an actual possibility...cuz geez, don't they know who "I" am??
He said that I literally have the only open appointment at that facility for the next 3 thousand years and that I should just take a few deep breaths and "go lay down somewhere"...

I'll try....but I'm not making any promises.