Monday, March 07, 2011

Feel Free To Go STRAIGHT To Hell - Today's Pregnant Lady Rant



*GASP*..Clutch the pearls Annie Mae!!

Apparently, where I work, this is an "unpopular" attitude to have.

If I don't come in to work doing cartwheels with stardust and rainbows shooting out of my ass every morning, I am: "being a big ole baby".

Seriously, people are just fucking crushed that I'm not always thrilled to be in my current "condition"...umm, huh?

Most of you heffas have never even birthed so much as a good idea but now all of a sudden, you are the pregnancy experts?!?

oooo..and the ones that REALLY scorch my grits are the ones that HAVE been pregnant before and how they seem to forget how it all went down....{insert mean face here}

And I'm pissed at myself for not telling them how I really feel when they ask me all loud and chipper-like: "HOW ARRRRRE YOOOOOOUUUUUUU?!?! SQUEEEEEEEE!!!"because when I do..they look all crushed or just look at me like I'm an ungrateful whore...sigh

And then the stank looks you get when you slightly pull away when they get all "handsy" on your stomach...sorry if I don't feel like being molested in the break room today.

Try waking up every morning - not having slept the night before because you had to piss every 45 minutes - to constant gagging and an over all feeling of "ick"..

Oh and THIS:
  • constipation,
  • weird hair growth
  • itchy skin
  • MORE gagging and vomit at the slightest sniff of a nasty ass smell
  • having to buy BIG OLE "PANTY DRAWS"..they don't come in cute styles OR colors
  • uncontrollable the drop of a hat
Try that list of sexiness for 9 months and see how fucking bright and shiny YOU feel in the mornings.

Current Rant Over...thankyouverymuch.