*Sigh*..I'm A Slacker

I'm neglecting my blog...hell, I'm neglecting YOUR blog....

IMVU is taking up all my time..I actually had another "job" interview...Virtual ass shakers are in high demand I guess.

I've met some really cool people on there and I haven't laughed this hard since the 60's..and I wasn't even born yet.

In other news..I'm working myself to death in real life. My part time job is getting on my last 4 nerves..

Question:

How in the hell, as a grown ass man/woman, do you NOT know what the fuck shoe size you wear???? And this whole "can you feel my toe?" bullshit kills me..what are you?..Five years old???

*taking a deep breath*

I need a long vacation filled with warm breezes and frosty drinks...which, by the way, me and a few IMVU buddies are thinking of planning..it'll be so weird to see what the people hiding behind avatars REALLY look like...the same guy that claims that he looks like this:

Probably looks like this:

mmmmm..sexaaaayyyyy

P.S.

NOTICE TO PEOPLE WHO KNOW MY HUSBAND AND LIKE TO RUN TATTLING TO HIM ABOUT WHAT YOU READ HERE:

There will NOT be any guys on this little get together...unless I decide to pick one up in Vegas..now run tell that!

I Want A Baby..Just So It Can Wear Cute Clothes

*Sigh...*

I was looking at this website called Minihipster.com..and my ovaries hurt.

It's a place that showcases stylish little kids in candid "street" photos..freaking hilarious.

One little girl had a Baby Dior dress on and since I'm nosy, I started to search the web for the prices of such things...needless to say, I can't afford ANY of it...EVER!!

But look at the yumminess of THESE beauties:

THEY COST $325 FUCKING DOLLARS!!! And they are for babies, who can't really walk...or even wipe their own asses.

Now I have an ASSLOAD of shoes..but I have NEVA EVA spent that kind of money on any piece of clothing...and I have the ability to whore myself for cash...what the fuck??

But then there's that part of me that says.."hmmm, but the baby needs them"...I will go ahead and stab that part of me now.

Internet, Como Se Huh?

Cookie was called into an actual staff meeting last night...on the internet....a staff meeting for a VIRTUAL strip club..umm..wha?

This shit is starting to get a little too real..gah!

Apparently, we need to "step our game up" because someone called the management group slack asses and questioned our "training".

Oh, and it seems that we are too "chatty"..(it is, after all a CHAT room for fuck's sake)...No more inviting friends into the club unless they are paying for dances and drinks...umm, again..wha?

Then we had a long discussion about Customer Service and club marketing/promotion...boooo! I come here to goof off, shake my virtual ass and serve virtual drinks!!

I think Cookie needs to go on a virtual sabbatical again....

And wanna know the kicker??? The motherfuckin' Coup de Grâce??

They didn't even serve virtual coffee OR donuts...aww hell, this is JUST like my real job.

Adventures In IMVU Land - The Recession Edition

Here are few more pics of Cookie..cuz I'm bored like that today. act like you don't see the spacing differences in between some of these pics..Blogger is really aggravating my OCD...

St. Patty's Day Debauchery:





Sadly, Cookie had to get a job...At Soft Touch - The Upscale Gentlemen’s Club..I’m a bartender..um sort of…and "fill in" stripper
HEY!!!, don’t judge me..we’re in a recession people! If I give you a dance (or a drink), you're supposed to "pay" me in credit..or buy me something from my wishlist and I've got my eye on a nice teak wood toilet for my virtual beach house...so come on by and let Cookie shake a lil sumpin' for you..

Also..apparently there IS sex in the champagne room...oh lawd, what have I gotten myself into?



Cookie as “Mei Ling”, The Asian Angel (One of my costumes at Soft Touch)







At Latte’s Poetry Café:

I'm in a band called "I Told You That Bitch Was Crazy"

Drowning my sorrows after work:

Hangin' out with my "virtual man" William..

I know I look nekkedish..it was hot dammit! And besides, we were at the beach...

And after the beach we rob virtual banks from time to time..it helps us bond.

I'm in a Cadillac gang..ha!

ANOTHER Cubicle Stalker

I swear..just when you think it's safe to eat in your own fucking cubicle....

I got a new cube mate a few months..she came over from another dept. and already had a "rep" as an insufferable bitch.


Over my short life I have had AT LEAST 15 friends like this...seems that I attract that type.

So because of this, I decide to at least be nice to her...wrong move.


She clamped on to me like a leech and I can't scrape her off....I shall call her Carrot Top..yep, she's got red hair, she's southern and incredibly politically incorrect - She still calls Asian people "Them Orientals"...I can just imagine what she calls us Blacks..I really did try to help her one day:


Me: Um, Carrot Top, you shouldn't use the word Oriental - It's like you calling me colored or negro....


Carrot Top: Uhhh..whuuut you tawlkin bout guhl..Fiddly Dee, I declahhhare

Ok, she didn't say the last part but that's how she sounds..I swear.


So I've noticed that just like Belly, every time I eat, say or do anything, she stands up and makes a comment about it...


"MMMM, that looks good"


"Is that a carrot??..Wow"

"You're husband sure says nice things to you..."

WTF?

What is so damned interesting about me and my food choices for shit's sake?


And if that isn't enough, she has this way of acting like she's not looking at me...she'll stand up, and look like she's scanning the room..but out of the corner of my eye...I can see her eyeballin' me...and unfortunately, we have low cube walls..damn it!!!

OH Wait!!...I forgot!!

There I was, minding my own fucking business, trying to do my insulin shot with my Flexpen (more on that later), which involves me pulling out some of the fat from my gut and jabbing it..this weirdo hears the clicking sound it makes, stands up and says:

"Oh, I'm sorrrryy..Now you know you don't have ANY privacy as long as I'm here huuuun...I mean um, I'm just kidding..."


Kidding my ass, that bitch was serious.

Man-Candy Of The Week: Dhani Jones

MMMMMM...chocolate...I wish it WOULD go straight to my thighs...OMG, I am such a whore....

Dhani has a new show on the Travel Channel called Dhani Tackles The Globe.

Me and The Husband watched it the other night and on the ouside, I feigned like he was no big deal but on the INSIDE...I was screaming his name from the hilltops while he made sweet, sweet love to me...is that considered "cheating on your husband"?.....probably.....anywhooo

Now, Dhani could use a good haircut but I can get over that...I guess


Picture: Erik Hartman, Courtesy of Red Line Films



I blocked out the other guys' faces because honestly, they don't matter.....



Oh laaaawd.. I think that's a Speedo!!!

VACATION PHOTOS!!!!

NO..not real ones of me and the hubby, silly..You know we suck ass and never go anywhere...but My IMVU Avatar, Cookie does!!

Seems she ran into a little trouble..got caught up with the wrong crowd and whatnot...

Drinkin'



Stealin' cars



It all finally caught up with her......




Might as well "make a lil change up in huuur"



So after my online virtual boyfriend posted bail, I decided that maybe it was a good idea to take a little time off…yes, Cookie is a Jet Setter, baby.

And since I have virtual homes in Sydney and Venice…PRIVATE JETS AND CHAMPAGNE ALL THE WAY!!!

Riding various strange animals on various beaches..is that a damn donkey?

The views in the virtual South Pacific were sooooo beautiful

And of course I, I mean Cookie had to go on a cruise or two

But never to far away from the internet....

Men..always tryin to holla…tsk tsk

This is what happens when you drink brown liqour...this won't end well.

Somehow, I landed in a bucket of shit..or is this supposed to be a mud bath??

But then, as usual - I got back to my old ways....Drinking and hanging with Goth broads...

Yes, IMVU is fun, but I think I'm getting a little obsessed....LOL!!