Ok, Yeah..That

On the 11th I took another hCG test and it was 41,000.....not doubled like it was "supposed" to be..I'm not sure what to do about that and I'm STILL spotting EVERY day....no pelvic pain, heavy bleeding or fever so I guess that's a good sign?

I called the doctor and had to leave a fucking message..yay.

I have a follow-up ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday and I plan on just walking in today and getting another blood test since it seems no one can be bothered to fucking call me back.

I'm scared, irritated and anxious...so yeah, that.

While I was writing this from work, I called the "advice nurse" and told her everything. She's going to tell the Midwife on Duty about the situation and they will get back to me...

SIGH..I hate waiting.

Lil Peanut Update

So I went to the doctor on Thursday and it seems that my uterus is quite crowded..no, not multiples - calm down..sheesh.

It's the damn fibroids..they're huge and stuff and they have made my girly parts all big.

For example, a regular woman's uterus is say, a precious little boutique - 6 cm maybe...mine? it's the Mall of America..measuring at over 20 cm!!..yay?

It is so huge, they could not find Lil Peanut at first...so I had to go over to Radiology and have the "real" ultrasound done.
Seems they could not see it either but after some searching there he/she/it/whatev was..all 5 weeks of him/her/it/whatev....but, the sac is so small and my fibroids are so huge, they are not able to see very much at this time.

I had an hCG blood test taken and it shows my level at 33638.0 and according to the chart below:

APPROXIMATE GESTATIONAL AGE
Weeks
5 - 6
Ranges
10,000 - 100,000

That means squeeeee! (?)

They want that level to double in the next 3 to 4 days because I guess that lets them know Lil Peanut is still alive...or something.

I'm still spotting - a fact that caused me to cry like an asshole in front of the nurse - which caused her to freak out and almost cry because she could not understand WHY I was crying - which caused my husband to cringe till he died.

Oh, and I have not told my Mother about ANY of this yet..because I'll cry.

Does the damn sap assness ever stop??

Updates And Shit...

Well..Halloween came...BUT NO CHILDREN DID..

sigh...I decorated the porch, bought $17 worth of NAME BRAND CHOCOLATE and everything...

The Bible Thumpin' - "Halloween is the Debbul" Committee To Ruin Shit seems to have cancelled the annual costume contest at work so my painfully cute 80's costume hung in the closet like a jackass the entire time..

Fuck 'em...

Last week, I had a urinary tract infection (oooo, sexy) so I went to the doctor..seems I'm pregnant and such....

but the Saturday before finding out, I went out clubbin with the co-workers and was DRUNK AS ALL HELL..and because I felt fat and all, decided to wear TWO girdle/corsets...nice prenatal care eh?..I'm a mothering phenomenon.

I have an appointment for 2pm eastern..today.

But I am scared..I'm 37..I have Type 2 Diabetes and I have IMMENSE uterine fibroids..and I have a weird detachment to the lil thing that we have named "Peanut"..because I'm a scared ass dumb ass...and because I can't keep my fucking mouth shut, proceeded to tell my co-workers..the same co-workers whose mouths are so big and far reaching, they could probably get a hand delivered message to Bin Laden before sun-up.

And some people seemed happy for me..some just told me I better not make THEIR lives miserable for the next 9 months and to sit my questioning ass down..um, wow.

But then about 45 minutes ago...I woke up with the urge to pee...and there was some blood..like it was the 1st day of my period..and I cried...a lot..really quietly because I did not want to wake my husband up..because he is so sweet and excited and worried that the waistband of my panties could hurt the baby...shit, I love him so much.

I've tried to make him aware of what could "happen" because of my Diabetes..but he says sweet things like: "No offense to the lil he/she/it inside you but, I just want YOU to be alive and healthy"..could ya just hump his leg??!!??

oh, back to the story and stuff..

I called my insurance company's "advice nurse" at what the hell o'thirty and tried not to wail uncontrollably in his ear..he was so nice and "Southern"..with a reassuring lilt in his voice.."Now, sugar, if you were in the kind of pain I'M asking you about, honey, you wouldn't have to think about it"..I love southern lilty male voices.
But then all of the horrible miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy stories that I've been hearing about and reading about on this fucking internet thing started swirling around in my head and I cried to poor Richard Advice Nurse Guy..begging him to get me an earlier appointment...as if a 4 am appointment was an actual possibility...cuz geez, don't they know who "I" am??
He said that I literally have the only open appointment at that facility for the next 3 thousand years and that I should just take a few deep breaths and "go lay down somewhere"...

I'll try....but I'm not making any promises.

Wow..This Thing Is Still Live?

Yeah yeah..imma get to it

I've been sleepy and stuff...

I promise to have something stupid to post shortly...

Fuck You And Your Raggedy Ass Carwash

*Sigh*

And for today's "Complaint, Whine, Bitch and Moan" News....

Last week my husband went to our local carwash, CARNETT'S for his usual $29.99 carwash.
(He goes there every other week or so, so the people there know him by first name and vice versa)
He pulls the car up, they wave for him to get out and go wait in the lobby - as usual
But this time, they don't give him a little "pay us bitch" ticket...hmm, strange he thinks but continues on into the lobby.
He busies himself on their free internet while he waits - as usual - and when it's time for the car to be ready, he SPEAKS DIRECTLY TO THE MANAGER and says "Are we good? Straight?" as in "Is this one free??" and the guy says SURE, BYEEEEE!! in his usual, weird, chipper way.

ok so...I had no idea that any of this happens because men don't EVER tell you the important things...EVER.

Why then did I get a CERTIFIED LETTER in the mail from the local police dept mentioning that these fucktards have filed a report for Theft Of Services against me and the husband???

{Insert lots of WTFs and Who In The Hells here}

I called the detective and asked her what was going on and she explains that she has just watched the surveillance video showing my seemingly THIEFTASTICAL husband "stealing a carwash"..umm, hold on lady, we're not thieves...and if we were, we'd steal something WAAAYYY better than a raggedy ass carwash.

Since I didn't want any trouble from Da Po Po, I asked her what we needed to do in order to clear this up and she said "Oh, just pay them..no big deal".....NO BIG DEAL??? The hell?

I called my husband, screamed at him and stuff...poor guy, he didn't deserve the screaming but I was pre menstrual..shut up..I was!
He explained the situation so then I called the carwash...these fools were more worried about it getting ready to rain outside than they were about me screaming and hollering about their shitty procedures...*sigh*

So I paid these jackasses this morning...they were all boucing around and happy to have me back like nothing happened -yeah fuck you, here's your damn money...it took everything in my soul not to take my arm and sweep it across the counter, knocking ALL that shit off of it...but I didn't

Because as you are all aware, I'm SUCH a fucking lady...

WTF IS THAT LIL PIC THINGIE??

Ok..so is it just me or is there a lil Photobucket "fuck you" image superimposed on my blog page??

The interwebbins is tha devil...

EDITED TO ADD:

Oh..it was my background..seems the webadingalinding site went outta business...

Shit I Don't Need...

I went to the mall yesterday to return THE CUTEST STEVE MADDEN FLATS EVER....EVER AND THEY WERE THE LAAAASSSST PAIR!!!, because they made me feel guilty with their $29 (on clearance) price tag and they'd probably never EVER get worn...and I needed gas money. SIGH

Across from the shoe store, there was this super huge mega mart underwear clearance center..cuz big ass purple satin draws need a place to die, I suppose.

I had nothing better to do so I went in and noticed these bras with "modesty petals" in them....wow, really?

I promise you, I can count on two fingers the times that my nips have gotten hard in the cold in my 37 years of life...really.

Maybe my nips are defective or something....and gawd, these bras were like 3 inches of push up foam too. What the hell kind of nips could possibly bust through these things??

But why is that I'm almost jealous of these "intrusive nip" people?

Probably because I just wanna buy something...yeah, that.

More Bullshit...

Look, I KNOW that I've been a whining crying ass heffa for the past couple of posts....

But now this:

Orchard Bank closed my credit card account..because they thought that they "heard me request it" in a previous customer service inquiry.....

WHAT THE FUCKIN HELL???

sigh

No bitch, what I said was: "IF you raise my interest rate, I would consider closing my account" and YOUR SUPERVISOR said that "it DEFINITELY would not happen"..and we were square

Now I'm ass out because as a former bankruptcy filer, NOBODY LOVES ME (at least no credit card companies do)

I called them today only to hear in so many words..."Sorry Bitch..Life is tough..watch what you say".
I asked to speak to a supervisor and she informed me that the reinstatement request was DENIED....umm, I was good enough for you 5 months ago but now I'm chopped liver?
And then cow even had the nerve to end the conversation with: "I hope we have a chance to do business with you in the future"....I nearly slapped her through the phone.

DOUBLE WHAT THE FUCKIN HELL?

After a cool off period, I called again and asked to speak to the person that could fix this...spoke to an account rep who gave me the whole "canned response" thing again then put me on hold forever while she checked to see if I was eligible for a NEW card..yeah..check this out:


Thank you for applying. Unfortunately, HSBC Bank Nevada, N.A. is unable to approve your application at this time.
Unfortunately, HSBC is unable to approve your application due to the following reason(s):
WE RECENTLY APPROVED YOU FOR AN HSBC ACCOUNT

{Insert my screaming, yelling and cursing here}

So yeah, now I can't rent a car when I need to..AND I MAY NEED TO THIS WEEKEND!!...

Does the steam coming out of my ears make me look fat?

Can I Just Have My Fucking Money?

sigh....

I hate:

1. Bank of America
2. My state's Revenue Department
3. My bootleg ass Tax Guy
4. Everything else

I had my taxes done on April 14th..cuz I'm a slack ass. By the end of May, I started to wonder where the hell my state refund was so i called the lil automated info line and was told that it was deposited on May 26th...um no hell it wasn't.

So I waited

and waited....

Then I called people and started yelling...of course nobody knew shit.

I somehow found out that my $1505 dollars was deposited into some random Bank of America account...huh? Again, nobody knows shit.

...cut to today...I have made over 20 phone calls and made two seperate visits to an actual bank.

• Bootleg ass Tax Guy says that he has no idea how that number got on my tax return..(yeah right)


• State Dept of Revenue says they ran a tracer..The bank is fully aware that this is NOT my account number but that the bank says "contact the bank" (?)


• Contacted the bank..they say contact Dept of Revenue and my tax preparer (?)


• Everybody needs to suck a fat one

So bottom line, everybody knows where the body is buried but no one can find a fucking shovel for me...oh, and if that isn't bad enough, I find out that Bootleg Ass Tax Guy FORGOT to do my taxes in tax yr 2008...sigh

The reason I didn't notice was that I faxed our info to him in 2009...We received a refund via direct deposit..seemed small but I figured, "oh well, rough tax year".
Seems that my husband's taxes got done but mine, CONTAINED IN THE SAME DAMN FAX, did not get done..he probably let the dog eat them.

Now That's at least ANOTHER $1500 this asshole has fucked up...OH!! and he had the nerve to get sass-mouthed with me on the phone yesterday.."well, y'all can try to get that money (the missing refund)out of me..I aint got it"..umm, huh? This crackhead is just BEGGING me to come over there and burn his damn house down huh?
He claims that he'll get my previous year's tax return done "ASAP"..yeah, right.

So now I've taken to calling people's supervisors and such, and of course, everybody is playing stupid.

The lady at the bank commented on how calm I am about this...It's not calm, it's "beat down and nearly defeated"...

To be continued...

Yeah..Bored..And Sick

After nursing my oh so sick husband back to health..I then got a matching Upper Resiratory Infection because after all, phlegm is sexy.

I've been trapped in my house for a week (god..so damn dramatic).

I've decided to finish this post from my iPhone...let's see if the world ends.

Being in the house this many days has brought me to the realization that I can't take my parents living in my house another god damned minute.

There, I said it.

It sounds mean..but it's true. I'm really getting tired of the excuses as to why they can't move back into their own house (that they pay a motrgage on every month while they shack at other people's houses).
Now, some of the excuses are valid - for instance, someone stole their AC unit...but they bought another one...now they need $350 in order to get it installed and another $400 for a security cage...sigh

But some of the things my stepdad comes up with...grr
one of his personal bests: "we can't leave until we get a new garage door"

yeah...I'll let that lil nugget marinate.....

Is he fucking serious? I had to walk out of the room before I strangled him. And I know this sounds biased, but if it was just my Mom, I'd have no problem with a "house guest"...plus she works nights and we rarely see her.
It's her husband...belching, farting, over-acting, woe is me ass.
He spends all his free time sitting on the bed festering and barking orders at my mom. He's started to take all of his meals in the guest room..you should see the fucking carpet....oh. I forgot yo mention the permanent ass dip impression the mattress has developed thanks to him. My husband says that he'll never be able to lay on that bed again and that if we could just get them out, we'd have one hell of a bonfire.

Gawd..part of me feels like an asshole for wanting them out but the other part is really pissed...they were only supposed to be here for a week LAST THANKSGIVING and they haven't left since...
My co-worker says that they would do the same for me if I needed help...umm they did..and after a couple of months, I GOT OFF MY ASS and found my own apartment!

I've tried to help them come up with an exit strategy but naaawww..I'm hit with a wall of bullshit.

It sucks having to "parent" your parents.