I'll probably lose my "tech support rep" card for telling people this but on the phones we have here, there's a handy little MUTE button..I love the fucking MUTE button...it keeps me sane at work.
Most of the calls we get here involve stupid people doing stupid things...for stupid reasons.
Caller: err, ummm...my monitor is sparking and smoking
Professional Me: That's strange, what led up to this?
Caller: (whispering) Well, I have a plant on it and I when I watered it, it overflowed
Professional Me on MUTE: You stupid fuck!!! (I also laugh at people while on MUTE)
Professional Me: I'm sorry, could you repeat that..a little louder? (just because I'm a mean bitch)
This button also helps when you want to agree with the caller but don't want them to hear it.
Caller: I am such a dumb ass when it comes to computers
Professional Me on MUTE: Yep, you're right
Professional Me: Ohhh don't be so hard on yourself
I also like to chastise the caller's children or life choices when they insist on calling from home with bullshit problems..it kills me that people are on their fucking laptops doing work WHILE THEY ARE RECOVERING FROM HEART SURGERY or WHILE THEY ARE ON VACATION!!
Caller: Hi..I broke something and got some sort of error message..blah blah [insert screaming, annoying child here]
Professional Me: I'm sorry, I can't hear you, could you speak up please
Professional Me on MUTE: Shut that little bastard up
Caller: wah wah wump wah [insert barking dog and more screaming children here]
Professional Me on MUTE: Oh my god..shut the fuck up!!
I don't know about you, but when I was growing up, If my mom was on the phone me and my brother BETTER have been quiet or she would have put a foot in our asses..parents today are so lax.
or:
Caller: (heart monitor beeping) Hi, I'm in the hospital recovering from heart surgery and I can't get my email to open, I have a big project due
Professional Me on MUTE: Ummm, huh? That's probably why your dumb ass had a heart attack in the first place!!
Professional Me: Oh, you poor thing. Let's see if we can get you connected
One last note:
Remember, unless you hear music, you are NOT on hold...I can't tell you how many times I have heard a caller talking cash shit about me while they "think" they are on hold.."Hey Bob, This broad doesn't know her ass from a whole in the ground, EVERYBODY knows that you're supposed to yank the print-out from the printer before it finishes printing instead of waiting for it to hit the tray!!"
Then when I start talking over their little rant, they get all embarrassed..."Oh!! I'm sorry, I didn't know you were still there..blah blah blah"
And don't get me started on the SPEAKERPHONE....people think they're being really cool "multi-taskers" when all they really are being is rude..do you have any idea HOW LOUD paper shuffling and popcorn chewing is over the speakerphone..obviously not.
People are stupid.
But I like getting a paycheck.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
What About Prom Blane???!!!
Last night I had a dream that I went to the prom...at my present age of 35..weird huh?
I remember that I was wearing an old braids hairstyle that I rocked for eons like this:(in case you are wondering, NO, THAT IS NOT A REAL PICTURE OF ME..besides, I wouldn't have picked that ghetto ass, "I don't have a day job" color)
In the dream, me and TOH were in this car (yeah, I wish)
Also, I found myself all decked out in my prom dress..wandering through the mall trying to find TOH and when I looked in the mirror, I noticed that my face hadn't been washed and I had eye boogers..etc..mmm, how attractive.
Maybe I had this dream due to the fact that I MISSED MY PROM..for a very stupid reason.
My senior year in high school, My date Eric freakin' idolized Duckie Dale, (hair, shoes and all) but didn't quite like my friends.
Our prom was in Ontario,CA but we lived 4 million miles away in Victorville, CA and Eric had a car....oooh, hot...but he refused to let, my friends ride in his car and me being a stupid teenage girl, decided that I would rather "find my own damn ride". Well he called my retarded ass bluff, and left.
Cut to me, sitting on my friend's bed, fully dressed, pantyhose, heels and ALL that shit, holding my $55 prom ticket...snifflin' and shit.
I missed out on a great memory because of my loyalty to them..I sure as hell wouldn't do it again, they cows weren't even seniors!!
Remember the scene in Pretty In Pink (god, I love that movie) where Iona and Andie are in record store and Iona says:
I have this girlfriend who didn't go to hers, and every once in a while, she gets this really terrible feeling--you know, like something is missing. She checks her purse, and then she checks her keys. She counts her kids, she goes crazy, and then she realizes that nothing is missing. She decided it was side effects from skipping the prom.
I think I'm having some of those side effects.
And because I now have internet access at home (take that! mean IT dept.)....a little duckie for ya..oh and some New Order too..because that song reminds me of all my teenage "angst"...ha freakin' ha
I remember that I was wearing an old braids hairstyle that I rocked for eons like this:(in case you are wondering, NO, THAT IS NOT A REAL PICTURE OF ME..besides, I wouldn't have picked that ghetto ass, "I don't have a day job" color)
In the dream, me and TOH were in this car (yeah, I wish)
Also, I found myself all decked out in my prom dress..wandering through the mall trying to find TOH and when I looked in the mirror, I noticed that my face hadn't been washed and I had eye boogers..etc..mmm, how attractive.
Maybe I had this dream due to the fact that I MISSED MY PROM..for a very stupid reason.
My senior year in high school, My date Eric freakin' idolized Duckie Dale, (hair, shoes and all) but didn't quite like my friends.
Our prom was in Ontario,CA but we lived 4 million miles away in Victorville, CA and Eric had a car....oooh, hot...but he refused to let, my friends ride in his car and me being a stupid teenage girl, decided that I would rather "find my own damn ride". Well he called my retarded ass bluff, and left.
Cut to me, sitting on my friend's bed, fully dressed, pantyhose, heels and ALL that shit, holding my $55 prom ticket...snifflin' and shit.
I missed out on a great memory because of my loyalty to them..I sure as hell wouldn't do it again, they cows weren't even seniors!!
Remember the scene in Pretty In Pink (god, I love that movie) where Iona and Andie are in record store and Iona says:
I have this girlfriend who didn't go to hers, and every once in a while, she gets this really terrible feeling--you know, like something is missing. She checks her purse, and then she checks her keys. She counts her kids, she goes crazy, and then she realizes that nothing is missing. She decided it was side effects from skipping the prom.
I think I'm having some of those side effects.
And because I now have internet access at home (take that! mean IT dept.)....a little duckie for ya..oh and some New Order too..because that song reminds me of all my teenage "angst"...ha freakin' ha
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Fergie, What's Up Wit Dat??
I don't think I like Fergie anymore....
What ever happened to the Fergie that was shakin' her ass all fast in the MyHumps video????
Now she's all classy and shit....singing ballads on awards shows in ball gowns.
Boooooo
I should probably explore what being mad at her for cleaning up says about me....but I'm too busy shakin' my ass.
What ever happened to the Fergie that was shakin' her ass all fast in the MyHumps video????
Now she's all classy and shit....singing ballads on awards shows in ball gowns.
Boooooo
I should probably explore what being mad at her for cleaning up says about me....but I'm too busy shakin' my ass.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Why So Tight?
Why is that people who have fat kids tend to dress them in the TIGHTEST clothes they can find???
Just look at those buttons..justa straaaainin'..POP OFF!!
Look, I know that kid's clothes can be expensive but for god's sake - Old Navy has separates for like ...$5!!!!
I saw a little girl in Wal-Mart that I swear, looked like a kielbasa..poor thing.
I bet when she grows up, she'll probably dress like this sad thang:
Just look at those buttons..justa straaaainin'..POP OFF!!Thursday, March 13, 2008
How Clean Is Your Office Fridge??
I swear.....
Yesterday the department fridges were cleaned out..just like they do every two weeks...but THIS time, somebody decided that it would be a wonderful idea to open my lunch tote and:
DUMP THE CONTENTS OF IT IN THE GARBAGE!!
What
The
Fuck??
OK, so I've had to do "fridge duty" a couple of times myself here but I at least used some common sense.
These "geniuses" also threw out UNOPENED frozen dinners and UNOPENED salad dressings....
All because "It didn't have a name on it"
yeah, real smart.
I should have learned my lesson from when that bitch stole my food...but learning shit has never been my strong suit.
Yesterday the department fridges were cleaned out..just like they do every two weeks...but THIS time, somebody decided that it would be a wonderful idea to open my lunch tote and:
DUMP THE CONTENTS OF IT IN THE GARBAGE!!
What
The
Fuck??
OK, so I've had to do "fridge duty" a couple of times myself here but I at least used some common sense.
These "geniuses" also threw out UNOPENED frozen dinners and UNOPENED salad dressings....
All because "It didn't have a name on it"
yeah, real smart.
I should have learned my lesson from when that bitch stole my food...but learning shit has never been my strong suit.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Those Bastards!!!
Well..I guess I won't be posting any more videos..or music playlists..or ANYTHING any more (from work at least).
On Wednesday, the mighty, all-knowing IT department where I work blocked pretty much every music site I like..*sigh*
Maybe you can go there are like them on my behalf...*sniffle*
Imeem
Finetune
Jamglue
Megavideo
Seniorplanet (what a strange name for a video site..and it's all French)
Blastro
Deezer (I promise you, I am fucking HEARTBROKEN over that one)
DJCity
Music Remedy
They also block websites that sell bathing suits....jees. I guess websites that show plus size girls in skirtinis is just soooo offensive.
Other dumb shit that is blocked:
Baby Phat
Autotrader
But someone in a high place must LOOOOVE Ebay because it is wide damn open..go figure
If they block Blogger I will slit my own throat....could I get any more dramatic??
On Wednesday, the mighty, all-knowing IT department where I work blocked pretty much every music site I like..*sigh*
Maybe you can go there are like them on my behalf...*sniffle*
Imeem
Finetune
Jamglue
Megavideo
Seniorplanet (what a strange name for a video site..and it's all French)
Blastro
Deezer (I promise you, I am fucking HEARTBROKEN over that one)
DJCity
Music Remedy
They also block websites that sell bathing suits....jees. I guess websites that show plus size girls in skirtinis is just soooo offensive.
Other dumb shit that is blocked:
Baby Phat
Autotrader
But someone in a high place must LOOOOVE Ebay because it is wide damn open..go figure
If they block Blogger I will slit my own throat....could I get any more dramatic??
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Meme: 6 Strange Things About Me
Well besides the "obvious"....
DixieChick tagged me for the 6 Quirks meme.
1. I can smell absolutely EVERYTHING...believe me, it's not a good thing. I swear, I can smell my neighbor through the floor.(Imagine what I'll be like when I get pregnant) TOH can NEVER smell the stuff I smell though...he thinks I'm weird.
My co-worker says that I'm probably smelling demons on certain people..umm. ok.
2. I like to hear elderly people cuss...it's just funny to me
3. I can't step on cigarette butts..sidewalks, streets, floors...yeck. For some reason, I find them to be the most fucking disgusting things ever..besides:
4. Vomit...I can't stand it..If I so much as HEAR somebody vomiting, I'm ruined for the day.
5. I can't look at mold on food..my skin is crawling as I type the word..mold...eeeewww. I've been known to throw away a perfectly good, expensive Corningware bowl because it contained "something moldy". Me and TOH argue at least once a week because I literally BEG him to throw all the old food out. (Speaking of weird, TOH has a "quirk" that compels him to smell the contents of every container of old food that he throws out...the first time I saw him do it, I almost fainted)
6. I have this strange fear that I'm going to drop my keys in a storm drain or grate..I'm completely freaked out every time I walk by the drain in front of our condo..I mean paralyzed with fear..and of course TOH ALWAYS parks next to it...bastard.
Honorable Mention Quirk
Ants...*dying right now*...When I was 5, I stepped on an ant hill..and those fuckers got me good.
Any time I see a swarm of ants, I nearly pee myself..it's almost like I can hear them taunting me....
Now the rules of this are to tag 3 other people..I'll try but you know I'm a slack ass so.....
DixieChick tagged me for the 6 Quirks meme.
1. I can smell absolutely EVERYTHING...believe me, it's not a good thing. I swear, I can smell my neighbor through the floor.(Imagine what I'll be like when I get pregnant) TOH can NEVER smell the stuff I smell though...he thinks I'm weird.
My co-worker says that I'm probably smelling demons on certain people..umm. ok.
2. I like to hear elderly people cuss...it's just funny to me
3. I can't step on cigarette butts..sidewalks, streets, floors...yeck. For some reason, I find them to be the most fucking disgusting things ever..besides:
4. Vomit...I can't stand it..If I so much as HEAR somebody vomiting, I'm ruined for the day.
5. I can't look at mold on food..my skin is crawling as I type the word..mold...eeeewww. I've been known to throw away a perfectly good, expensive Corningware bowl because it contained "something moldy". Me and TOH argue at least once a week because I literally BEG him to throw all the old food out. (Speaking of weird, TOH has a "quirk" that compels him to smell the contents of every container of old food that he throws out...the first time I saw him do it, I almost fainted)
6. I have this strange fear that I'm going to drop my keys in a storm drain or grate..I'm completely freaked out every time I walk by the drain in front of our condo..I mean paralyzed with fear..and of course TOH ALWAYS parks next to it...bastard.
Honorable Mention Quirk
Ants...*dying right now*...When I was 5, I stepped on an ant hill..and those fuckers got me good.
Any time I see a swarm of ants, I nearly pee myself..it's almost like I can hear them taunting me....
Now the rules of this are to tag 3 other people..I'll try but you know I'm a slack ass so.....
Friday, February 29, 2008
New Music Video Friday
Estelle - Just A Touch
Estelle feat. Kanye West - American Boy
Are ya shakin dat ass yet?????
Estelle feat. Kanye West - American Boy
Are ya shakin dat ass yet?????
Thursday, February 28, 2008
HBO And Showtime Can Go To Hell
You wanna know what I hate???
Sure you do.
I hate when cable networks release shitty, watered down versions of their original series so that they can be shown on network TV....
For instance Dexter. I fucking LOVE that show..until I saw it being shown on CBS on Sunday..are you kidding me??
Other shows that suck now:
Sex And The City...pisses me off every time I see it on the Directv guide..but I plan on seeing the movie..maybe
The Wire...on BET??? SO not the same (Oh, and by the way..how the HELL do you kill off the best character - Omar????)
The Sopranos..Oh, I'm STILL irked by that one being on A&E
In my opinion, if you put out a certain product, you meant for it to be that way, not altered to "appeal to the masses"..why change it???
*stepping down from soapbox*
Sure you do.
I hate when cable networks release shitty, watered down versions of their original series so that they can be shown on network TV....
For instance Dexter. I fucking LOVE that show..until I saw it being shown on CBS on Sunday..are you kidding me??
Other shows that suck now:
Sex And The City...pisses me off every time I see it on the Directv guide..but I plan on seeing the movie..maybe
The Wire...on BET??? SO not the same (Oh, and by the way..how the HELL do you kill off the best character - Omar????)
The Sopranos..Oh, I'm STILL irked by that one being on A&E
In my opinion, if you put out a certain product, you meant for it to be that way, not altered to "appeal to the masses"..why change it???
*stepping down from soapbox*
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Traumatized - Auntie Daycare Part 2
Sunday night, Inappropriate Tool Guy calls to tell me that their babysitter's sister died last week and that she's still not over it..poor thing.
This means that 1yr old Lil' Bit needs a babysitter on Monday..which means I'm their "Only Hope".
I figured that since she was returned in one piece last time, this should be a breeze...famous last words...
Since my car broke down..again..we're down to one car. I usually take TOH to work on Mondays and Tuesdays so I can have transportation to important places such as Joann's Fabrics and the grocery store..and Border's so I can read books for free all day on my days off...because I'm just SO busy like that..
Anyway, Tool Guy offers me two choices:
A: Spend the night at their house like I'm an Au Pair
B: He'll drop his car off at our house that night so I can drive it back to their house in the morning..and be the Au Pair
on a lazy Sunday afternoon, none of these sounded like a good idea but I chose option B.
He didn't seem very comfortable with her spending the night at our house again, I guess.
When I got there Monday morning, on the way out the door, Lil Bit's mom mentioned that the neighbor, (who also goes to the same babysitter) MAY need to drop her baby off for a couple of hours too..uh, ok.
Me and Lil' Bit were doing ok, she kept bullying my food from me though. I usually have no problem elbowing little kids in the neck but she was giving me the cute puppy-dog face.
Then doorbell rang and it was the neighbor and her baby..she was soooo cute and chunky..and really heavy for an 8 month old. I think I'll call her SuperChunks.
SuperChunks and Lil'Bit seemed to get along well..except for the eye gouging and hair pulling I guess. SuperChunks can't walk but she swings like she's in a girl gang.
SuperChunks is gangsta.
It's amazing the "hold" Barney and his weird little friends have on children. When Baby Bop lost her blanket..and sang a damn song about it...those babies were absolutely MESMERIZED!!
I think there's some sort of subliminal mind control going on because at one point, I started to sing along too.."Oh where, oh were could my blankie be?? Oh where oh where could it beeeeeee?? Damn you Barney!!
Lunch time was interesting. SuperChunks' mom left a container of what looked ot be peas mixed with shit and some apricots..mixed with shit.
Lil' Bit was supposed to eat parts of a grilled ham and cheese sandwich from the morning but she kept spitting out the meat..go carbs!! She was also supposed to eat some yogurt.
When I opened the peas "medley", I gagged..so did SuperChunks but she ate it any way.
Being the Super Nanny that I am, I thought I could feed both of them at the same time, using two different spoons..the babies had other plans though. SuperChunks kept reaching for the container as if to knock it out of my hand and Lil' Bit was trying to find other things to do..like poke my eyes out with big, pointy, wood blocks.
When all was said and done, all three of us ended up eating the yogurt.
Lil' Bit farts..like a man. At first it was funny but when a green cloud of gas appeared, I figured it must be time for a diaper change.
Ok, we were all downstairs...the changing table is upstairs...hmm,
Should I be an irresponsible "nanny" and leave one of the children alone while I change the other??
Should I forgo the whole "warm and toasty wet wipe experience" and just use a wet paper towel from the kitchen?
I know!! I'll attempt to carry my fat ass and TWO babies up a very steep flight of 15 stairs!! Yeah, that was a WONDERFUL idea. My back hurts...
Oh and another thing: Baby shit is NASTY
Lil' Bit presented me with a cute but stanky little snowball but SuperChunks....that little girl should be ashamed of herself...her diaper was actually bulging..yeck...once I opened it, I went into full gag mode..
Why is it halfway up her back???
Why does she feel the need to start kicking and laughing..thus kicking the diaper..when I went to move it out of the way, shit literally went flying..and it hit the wall.....find.me.a.bucket.
After every little girl ass and purple painted wall was clean, I got everybody back downstairs..I had to hurry since The Young and The Restless is on damn it!!
I duped both of them into going to sleep while I watched my stories..quiet..finally.
My mom and sister came by later in the afternoon and I was able to leave and get some lunch. I think the novelty of them had worn off by the time I got back because my mom looked like she was ready to run out to the car screaming..how cute.
I got them back to sleep again..did I care that they may be up all night after I left?? NOPE.
Inappropriate Tool Guy got home around 3pm and messed everything up by taking Lil'Bit from her very comfortable place.. my shoulder..jostling SuperChunks..waking her up...daaaaaaamn it!!!!
SuperChunks' mom didn't come back until 6pm..*sigh*, I'm tired, hungry and ready to go at this point but Tool Guy insisted that they take me to dinner for my trouble..umm, ok, I guess.
Somehow we got everybody together:
Lil' Bit, her parents, SuperChunks, her 10 yr old sister, her mom..and me to the restaurant...in 3 different cars (??)
Long story short..O'Charley's can go straight to hell..
An hour and a half to get our food??? Ridiculous. Luckily, I had ordered a very big Mojito as soon as we sat down.
The manager reduced the bill by about 80% and we got all our food "to go"....
by the time I got home, all I could do was say a slurred hello to TOH and fell directly on my bed..clothes and all..I gave TOH my dinner and I don't remember much after that.
And the moral of the story is:
Be like a hooker and.....Demand cash..up front!!!
This means that 1yr old Lil' Bit needs a babysitter on Monday..which means I'm their "Only Hope".
I figured that since she was returned in one piece last time, this should be a breeze...famous last words...
Since my car broke down..again..we're down to one car. I usually take TOH to work on Mondays and Tuesdays so I can have transportation to important places such as Joann's Fabrics and the grocery store..and Border's so I can read books for free all day on my days off...because I'm just SO busy like that..
Anyway, Tool Guy offers me two choices:
A: Spend the night at their house like I'm an Au Pair
B: He'll drop his car off at our house that night so I can drive it back to their house in the morning..and be the Au Pair
on a lazy Sunday afternoon, none of these sounded like a good idea but I chose option B.
He didn't seem very comfortable with her spending the night at our house again, I guess.
When I got there Monday morning, on the way out the door, Lil Bit's mom mentioned that the neighbor, (who also goes to the same babysitter) MAY need to drop her baby off for a couple of hours too..uh, ok.
Me and Lil' Bit were doing ok, she kept bullying my food from me though. I usually have no problem elbowing little kids in the neck but she was giving me the cute puppy-dog face.
Then doorbell rang and it was the neighbor and her baby..she was soooo cute and chunky..and really heavy for an 8 month old. I think I'll call her SuperChunks.
SuperChunks and Lil'Bit seemed to get along well..except for the eye gouging and hair pulling I guess. SuperChunks can't walk but she swings like she's in a girl gang.
SuperChunks is gangsta.
It's amazing the "hold" Barney and his weird little friends have on children. When Baby Bop lost her blanket..and sang a damn song about it...those babies were absolutely MESMERIZED!!
I think there's some sort of subliminal mind control going on because at one point, I started to sing along too.."Oh where, oh were could my blankie be?? Oh where oh where could it beeeeeee?? Damn you Barney!!
Lunch time was interesting. SuperChunks' mom left a container of what looked ot be peas mixed with shit and some apricots..mixed with shit.
Lil' Bit was supposed to eat parts of a grilled ham and cheese sandwich from the morning but she kept spitting out the meat..go carbs!! She was also supposed to eat some yogurt.
When I opened the peas "medley", I gagged..so did SuperChunks but she ate it any way.
Being the Super Nanny that I am, I thought I could feed both of them at the same time, using two different spoons..the babies had other plans though. SuperChunks kept reaching for the container as if to knock it out of my hand and Lil' Bit was trying to find other things to do..like poke my eyes out with big, pointy, wood blocks.
When all was said and done, all three of us ended up eating the yogurt.
Lil' Bit farts..like a man. At first it was funny but when a green cloud of gas appeared, I figured it must be time for a diaper change.
Ok, we were all downstairs...the changing table is upstairs...hmm,
Should I be an irresponsible "nanny" and leave one of the children alone while I change the other??
Should I forgo the whole "warm and toasty wet wipe experience" and just use a wet paper towel from the kitchen?
I know!! I'll attempt to carry my fat ass and TWO babies up a very steep flight of 15 stairs!! Yeah, that was a WONDERFUL idea. My back hurts...
Oh and another thing: Baby shit is NASTY
Lil' Bit presented me with a cute but stanky little snowball but SuperChunks....that little girl should be ashamed of herself...her diaper was actually bulging..yeck...once I opened it, I went into full gag mode..
Why is it halfway up her back???
Why does she feel the need to start kicking and laughing..thus kicking the diaper..when I went to move it out of the way, shit literally went flying..and it hit the wall.....find.me.a.bucket.
After every little girl ass and purple painted wall was clean, I got everybody back downstairs..I had to hurry since The Young and The Restless is on damn it!!
I duped both of them into going to sleep while I watched my stories..quiet..finally.
My mom and sister came by later in the afternoon and I was able to leave and get some lunch. I think the novelty of them had worn off by the time I got back because my mom looked like she was ready to run out to the car screaming..how cute.
I got them back to sleep again..did I care that they may be up all night after I left?? NOPE.
Inappropriate Tool Guy got home around 3pm and messed everything up by taking Lil'Bit from her very comfortable place.. my shoulder..jostling SuperChunks..waking her up...daaaaaaamn it!!!!
SuperChunks' mom didn't come back until 6pm..*sigh*, I'm tired, hungry and ready to go at this point but Tool Guy insisted that they take me to dinner for my trouble..umm, ok, I guess.
Somehow we got everybody together:
Lil' Bit, her parents, SuperChunks, her 10 yr old sister, her mom..and me to the restaurant...in 3 different cars (??)
Long story short..O'Charley's can go straight to hell..
An hour and a half to get our food??? Ridiculous. Luckily, I had ordered a very big Mojito as soon as we sat down.
The manager reduced the bill by about 80% and we got all our food "to go"....
by the time I got home, all I could do was say a slurred hello to TOH and fell directly on my bed..clothes and all..I gave TOH my dinner and I don't remember much after that.
And the moral of the story is:
Be like a hooker and.....Demand cash..up front!!!
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