Friday, May 29, 2009

You Need To Get You One Of Those Big Stomachs...

I went to happy hour last night with some co-workers and let's just say - We don't have a lick of sense.

Somehow we got on the subject of Belly and his sister and how they seem to be quite successful in the "Love Bidness Arena".

For instance, Belly - He's about to get married AGAIN (!!??!!) to a thin woman that "loves him so"....
And his sister has been married TWICE and has a new boyfriend smelling her poonie(double !!??!!)....

Both of them are morbidly obese and have stomachs that could shelter several small children....yeah I know, there's somebody for everybody, and my man won't win any prizes for spectacular nudity but damn...they could be about 1000 pounds combined!

My poor chronically single co-worker wants to know where she's going wrong and I said: "Well, You need to get you one of those big stomachs..."

We suspect it's Belly's sister's tongue hmm..(I bet she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch) I say this because her stomach rests securely on her knees thus covering the "good stuff"..
But for Belly..who knows..maybe he cooks a mean casserole or something.

I wondered aloud how they handle the logistics of such things....

One co-worker offered the following plausible explanation:

The artwork is fucking AMAZING isn't it?....applause applause...applause

This is what happens when the Long Island Ice Teas are flowing freely....

I'm going to go pray for forgiveness now because I laughed myself into a coma over this conversation..I'll most likely be struck down by lightning.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

*Sigh*..I'm A Slacker

I'm neglecting my blog...hell, I'm neglecting YOUR blog....

IMVU is taking up all my time..I actually had another "job" interview...Virtual ass shakers are in high demand I guess.

I've met some really cool people on there and I haven't laughed this hard since the 60's..and I wasn't even born yet.

In other news..I'm working myself to death in real life. My part time job is getting on my last 4 nerves..


How in the hell, as a grown ass man/woman, do you NOT know what the fuck shoe size you wear???? And this whole "can you feel my toe?" bullshit kills me..what are you?..Five years old???

*taking a deep breath*

I need a long vacation filled with warm breezes and frosty drinks...which, by the way, me and a few IMVU buddies are thinking of'll be so weird to see what the people hiding behind avatars REALLY look like...the same guy that claims that he looks like this:

Probably looks like this:

There will NOT be any guys on this little get together...unless I decide to pick one up in run tell that!